Days of My Life

to 2007. This will be the last post. Of the year. It's not like I have any other choice; today is December 31st, and usually, this day marks the end of yet another year. I can't make this the second to last post, because that would have been yesterday's. If I'm not making any sense at this moment, then...don't mind me. A year sounds long, but it truly isn't. So boringly little, yet so invigoratingly much happens in the course of 365 days, or, as in 2004's case, 366 days. What is there to celebrate about every January 1st, anyway? What is such the big deal with the "ball dropping" in a city about a thousand miles away? Again, pretentious. Okay, next topic. I have a feeling that the last post of the year ought to be out of the ordinary. (Sometimes I don't get how "out of the ordinary" and "extraordinary" mean...something different. If a matter is out of the ordinary, then doesn't it mean that it's ordinary, because it...

I'll do it tomorrow. The next day: I'll get to it tomorrow. And it's yesterday's tomorrow: Ah, tomorrow . Etc, etc. It's always TOMORROW. Many of the things we should do today are constantly pushed to tomorrow. Yet when the next day comes, we use another tomorrow. But what if today's tomorrow or tomorrow's tomorrow doesn't come? Oh well? For some things, that's fine, but for others, it's just not. One of the things that I really hate (and I hate a lot of things ... and people--though not as many now as before) is when others think that they know me so dagnabbit well but freaking don't. Seriously, I get extremely peeved when I try to tell someone that I'm like this or that, but then the counterpart disagrees ! What the heck is that all about, huh?! You got beef? Go roast it or something! I think I know well how I am, so don't go telling me that I'm not how I tell you I am. Unless you don't want to talk anymore, then fine! D...

I just felt like posting this up, as well. written Monday, December 24, 2007 in the middle of the night Novel Essay: Prompt 1 In a well-developed essay, convince the reader Henry has or has not developed from youth to manhood in the course of his war adventures. After his few days in battle, Henry Fleming gradually develops from a foolish, impressionable teenager into a wiser, more experienced young man. Throughout his time in the camp and as a part of the army, Henry goes through growth on many different levels. From his very first figment of imagination of Greek heroes to his first and last battle on the field, the youth evolves from a crawling caterpillar to a fluttering butterfly. As a teenager, Henry is, to begin with, highly impressionable and extremely foolish. He hears of all the town gossip and sees the headlines in the local newspapers; the thought that war is a glorious matter begins to cement in his mind in addition to the Greek heroes he has learned about and so much want...

Now that I've thought about it, tomorrow's recital is quite pretentious. I mean, really. You practice your song for however long, get better but not necessarily good at it, then you get up "onstage" and play it for others who don't even know or care about you to hear, and you take an awkward bow. How pre -freaking- tentious is that? ( sigh ) I don't care anymore. I had to think about and look for a "nice" outfit to wear tomorrow, and I decided to purposely look semi-casual, just to have an air of " I don't care ". Wow, now that I've actually put that into writing, it seems kind of mean. But it's how I feel. The song I'm going to play is so meaningless, other than the fact that it's one of my exam songs in March. Because I'm not going to play the second part afterall, everything's just a repetition. Which would sound all the more boring to the audience. But then again, as I said previously, they don't really ...

Unfortunately, I did not come up with that title myself. It's the name of a song that I just found and fell in love with :) It's by Yellowcard, by the way. This morning, I woke up before 10 (a surprise, yes) and began to do work for Deca. My battle buddy and I were working on one thing for about four hours, so one must be able to imagine how utterly, excruciatingly bored I was. I had to literally sit there for hours . But hey, we got studying done, though after about five long hours, we still have more to go. Gee, I sure can't wait for that. So basically, I've spent this whole day, the whole time I've been awake, anyway, on the computer. About six hours and twenty-five minutes at THIS VERY MOMENT. Hmm, I realize that I like being home alone on a chilly, dark day. I focus better when I'm alone, and I feel more...obligated, I guess you could say, to work and get things done. Though, honestly, the only thing I've done today is, again, sit right at the computer ...

to come up with a new, attention-grabbing title for each post. Though, one could simply number their posts, but then that'd be utterly boring and even less attention-grabbing. I truly miss Sunday, December 23, 2007 . It was just four days ago, but it feels like it's been a whole year already. The vivid details and imagery have faded; only the big ideas remain. The barbecue was incredibly...not necessarily fun, but I'll give it that anyway. It was probably the best day of the year for me. It was amazing, despite any little problems on the way and afterward. Simply, truly amazing. I didn't realize until about twenty hours later that it was my sweet sixteen "celebration". And I must say, it was sweet, indeed. There were three cakes! And of course, some fun-filled caking. I kept saying for two days that if I could, I would go back to that day and live it all over again. I'm pretty sure that this is the first time that I have ever wanted to go back to a day of...

is a really good show! I've been watching it all day today...and have done absolutely no work at all, not to mention home work. "Homework" is quite an oxymoron, because "home" and "work" are two opposite things....Huh. So, today, I bumped into an..."old friend." Not literally, and it's not like we spoke or anything. But it was nice to see him. The last time we saw each other was probably in August or something. Once upon a time, we were buddy-buddies. Haha. It's nice. My cousin gave me a Christmas card and a birthday card today. That was a nice, as well. (Though, I'm turning 16 , not 15, Daisy! Still, if you're reading this, thank you :) I am totally being a lazy bum. I really have to get up and work. Blah. I love how small gestures can make people happy. It makes me happy that they make others happy. And with little effort, too! A line from Ugly Betty just ran through my mind: (father kidding to son about the mother): ...

It is so dark today! It's now 12:17 p.m., and there is no sign at all of the sun. But (at least) it's not raining...Not that I dislike the rain. It's just that the rain is rather inconvenient when one plans to go out...Not that I have any plans to go out... I have been and still will be doing notes for history... Yesterday and today, I've been watching lots of Dream Street videos on YouTube. For those of you who don't know, Dream Street is... was a boyband from. Hmm. SIX, probably SEVEN years ago. They're all grown up now! I love their songs. Okay, this is a rather pointless "entry", whatever. Here's a little something to ponder: The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other. -Burton Hillis

A Walk to Remember I love that movie. I finished watching it at approximately 5 p.m. And my eyes still hurt from crying. I LOVE that movie!!! So darn much. It's by Nicholas Sparks, who also wrote The Notebook . Hmm... I LOVE A WALK TO REMEMBER . It'd be almost a dream come true to live that storyline...(except for the leukemia part, but everything has its ups and downs). Seriously, my eyes hurt. I was suppressing my sobs while watching it. Though I usually don't. But, yeah. Christmas is only six days away. And I'm sixteen. You know, I can barely even get used to the fact that I'm fifteen. It always takes me at least a few months to remember that I just turned ___ years old. Time flies by so quickly that sometimes, it doesn't really matter how much of it has passed. I admit, I've been procrastinating. I have a ton of homework to do and get done, but all I've been doing is sitting at the computer, watching videos on YouTube or just watching movies...or ju...

Tomorrow is the first official day of Winter Break. I'd much rather be at school. Well, not at this time, but I'd much rather be at school than stay home the whole day, sitting at the computer, doing absolutely nothing. I have a ton of homework to do, and it turns out that I have to start the chemistry assignment soon, because we have to grow crystals! It sounds interesting. But utterly boring. I haven't said "I'm bored" in a very long time. Know why? I'll tell you why. It's because this whole time, I've had to be doing homework or something school-related, and as long as I have something to do, I'm not bored. Today, sure, I had tons of stuff to do, but hey. I didn't do anything. Hence, the boredom. I get headaches when I'm bored. I watch a movie, go to the computer, stay at the computer, and my eyes start to become tired, and BAM. I have a headache. I think I got sick today, too. Well, actually, I did get sick. I suppose my first ...

I'm feeling extremely sleepy right now. I've been organizing my...crap for the past hour. After this, I need to study for tomorrow's workshop. Today was the last school day of the year! So fast... For the next three weeks, instead of winter break, I'll be having winter break down . My plans: 1) study, 2) do homework, 3) study, 4) practice piano, 5) study, 6) practice piano, and 7) study. So, to condense it all: study and do homework (whether it be for school or for...piano). Speaking of condensing, I actually understood the unit that we just finished working on in chemistry class. It's called "Modern Atomic Structure." It's pretty fun. But I'm just saying that because I understand it. If I didn't, then I'd totally despise it. The unit exam today went pretty well, as not-so-far as I could tell. The math test right afterward, however, was just plain horrible. There were three word problems, and because I haven't done the last assignment y...

until I can be rid of these retarded retainers for the daytime. I highly doubt that anyone is going to take me seriously with my partially impaired speech due to these retarded retainers. Ugh. At this moment, in lieu of being at piano lesson, I'm at home. I've a lot of homework to do and get done. Which isn't very nice to think about. What more can I say today...? Hmm. I want to (learn to) play Apologize by One Republic someday. Youtube! Haha. Okay, I shall now put an end to this senseless nonsense.

Yesterday's show was far from what I had expected. As in, light years far far away from my expectations. Light years. It started at 7:30, and we got there at around 8. Parking was $7. Then the tickets were $15 each, and there were four of us. When we went in, I was ASTONISHED. In a bad way. It was a bar-club ! Like, what the freaking fack? Everyone there was... coupled with someone else. Well, they were all twenty-something year-olds with nothing to do on a Friday night but go to a ridiculously pathetic "club". And the performers on stage weren't even Secondhand Serenade! So we just stood there in the back like freaking fools. And within a minute, I recognized that the guy right in front of us at the "souvenir stand" was JOHN VESELY, a.k.a. Secondhand Serenade. I was only pretty sure, so we were trying to make sure. So finally, we made a decision to leave, because that place was SO OVERRATED. And SO NOT OUR SCENE. We were the youngest ones there! Although...

It's cold. It's actually cold. That's nice. Usually at this time, I'd be doing volunteer work (such an oxymoron), but I opted to stay home and "study", which I clearly have not begun doing yet. There's a Secondhand Serenade concert tonight at the Knitting Factory on Hollywood Boulevard or somewhere around there. I'm going! Yay! I mean, I don't have tickets or anything yet...but I'm expecting that they haven't sold out yet... Hopefully. So it'll most likely be another late night tonight. Then tomorrow's workshop day, which is the reason why I have to study (after this). I'm currently consistently listening to With You by Chris Brown. I love that song. Hmm, I guess that's all for today. Or, just for now.

...of all the homework I should do, and all the studying I have to do and get done. ALL the studying. Excessive amounts of information. ...I began this at 9:40, and I've "paused" until...now, 11:47. And I'm still not quite done with homework yet. Oh, joy. My eye is closing on me... That's not too good.

I haven't heard that song in a while. I'm listening to it now. Today was pretty uneventful. It was pretty hot, though, for a December day...Quite strange, but oh well. Variation's nice. I have a feeling that this post is going to be a highly, excruciatingly boring, bland one. Keep reading. Maybe something exciting will happen. Maybe fireworks will spark. I came across a fantastically excellent essay about half an hour ago: http://www.layouth.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=Issue&action=IssueArticle&aid=2167&nid=75 . It's REALLY REALLY GOOD. I wonder if this promoting/advertising thing is allowed...I would think so, but anyway . Exactly three more weeks until C H R I S T M A S . How quickly time runs. Like the speed of...light. Actually, I think light is time. In both scientific and philosophical senses. But I really don't feel like getting into detail right now. Think about it. Ha, how hypocritical of me. I don't want to think but I'm telli...

how long this posting everyday thing lasts. I've just finished a really bad essay on Fahrenheit 451 . Now I need to do math homework (which, again, I [still] do not understand) and get ahead of chemistry. And read some more. I really want to finish Fahrenheit , though. I really really do. Although I already know the ending and stuff from reading Sparknotes and BookRags (for the sake of the essay). So, we're playing fullcourtbasketball in physical education class. It's so lame. We SUCK. And people...ugh. That class is so aggravating. I don't have anything pressing to say right now. Maybe later, when I'm working. Haha.

I can save you I can take you away from here So lonely inside So busy out there And all you wanted Was somebody who cares... All You Wanted by Michelle Branch :) Because I did absolutely nothing on Friday and yesterday, I have plenty to do today. Great job, me. I'm four-timing my books! That hasn't happened in a while. I am currently reading The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway for English, The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane for Deca, Sixteen by Megan McCafferty (almost done!) for my own pleasure, and Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury for my mother's English class, which includes a paper that is due tomorrow, which means I have to finish the whole book by today. The latter is a pretty good book so far. At first, it was really mysterious and enigmatic, somewhat frightening for me, but only because I was reading it last night. But I love the way the writer describes everything so vividly! Such as, "The trees overhead made a great sound of letting down the...

of December today is. I've just finished watching the tenth episode of Gossip Girl . It made me cry. That episode is SO GOOD. So very good. It's the best one so far! It was a Thankgiving episode, though why it wasn't shown last week, the day before Thanksgiving, I don't know. Regardless, it's FANTASTIC, BRILLIANT. I love it!! At first, everyone's together. Then, all the families are all messed up; everything's ruined. At the very end, everybody rejoices! I can't wait until the next one! I was supposed to do something productive during the past hour and a half, but I'll start after this. I can't believe it's already December. Everything is going and coming by so quickly. Sometimes it's hard to actually thoroughly absorb it all. Nothing much to say today...for now. This is definitely one of the most boring posts here.

Refer back to "Always Cut Short", November 21st. What I said did indeed bite me back in the whatchamacallit. I got that C on the MATH quiz. See? Such adversity I have.

Teardrops on my guitar I mean... raindrops on the ground :) It's actually raining! Well, it shouldn't be such a seeming surprise, since it is November. Or...you know what? TODAY IS THE LAST DAY OF NOVEMBER! ALREADY! Tomorrow is DECEMBER 1st!! I love December. And May. Mild cheddar cheese is good. Nothing much to account for today... I got 7 out of 10 on yesterday's math quiz. It was originally a 6, but then I went and inquired about the problem I supposedly got wrong, and I got my point back. Gosh, I hate that stupid...ARGH. So gay. Now instead of being 0.7 percent away from an A, I am 2.4 percent away! It's so maddening! Tonight is actually a FREE FRIDAY NIGHT for me! There's no workshop to study, I mean, cram , for tomorrow. But I should still do some work... Pft. Yeah, right. Gossip Girl on cwtv.com tomorrow. Yay. That's all on my mind at this moment.

to cry. Today was a really good day, even better than yesterday. But for some unbeknownst reason, I felt like crying a while ago. Not now, but yeah. Today was fun. I stayed after for Deca (not a surprise there) and then went to Burger King with some amigos . It was a complete disaster . Really, it was a disaster . First, someone hit someone who was holding a soda without a lid and that soda spilled on me and all over the table and floor. After that, I was playing with sauce and stuff, and I lost control of the container and it just literally slipped out of my fingers and spilled onto, again, my sweater and the table. Then the former someone tried to help me wipe it off and then got a whole bunch on himself! And again thereafter! That table was a mess like no other. But I had fun. Battle of the Bands is...going on right now. It actually started about ten minutes ago. I wanted to stay and watch it, but then I wouldn't have had a way home. It seems very interesting, though. And Chan...

I actually feel...near giddy , for once. I haven't felt "giddy" since...before high school began! I don't even know the reason for my state of whatever, but whatever. It's all good. There is a math quiz tomorrow...And I have to study four lessons and actually try to understand and absorb all of it so that I can do well on the prueba tomorrow.That's what I get for not paying attention in class. But yeah, another episode of attempted studying tonight, airing at 7:00 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. Or hopefully, earlier. I could be really good at math, if only I wanted to be. I'm really good at memorizing numbers (i.e. library cards, license plates, phones, credit cards...). If only I applied that skill to formulas and such, I would ROCK MATH. So my mother says and I realize. It was so windy today! And somewhat chilly, but I don't mind the latter. Um...hmm. Wow, would you look at that? It's four o' clock already. Two minutes past, actually. I did ha...

I really despise insurance companies and their comrades, armed with their hooligan-nonchalant-about-other-people's-well-being-ness. So today, I found out that Deca actually drops one's grade point average! What the heck, man?! I mean, it makes sense , but it just ain't right . We work out butts off, and what do we get? A LOWER GRADE POINT?! Huh? Injustice, I tell you. Injustice. I would like to finish reading Sixteen already...But I still have to catch up on math homework. There are so many problems I have to (figure out how to) do. And there's a quiz on Thursday... Fabulous. I really suck at math. I really, truly do. I used to be good at it...in elementary school. Heck, it was even my favorite subject (next to spelling/vocabulary) back in that decade! How things change... From time to time, I get myself to thinking that I'm... afraid . Of math? I don't know. All I know is, I'm mathematically challenged . Although, I also know that I could truly improve i...

Huh. I was just reading what I posted below, and a sudden realization came to me. It's dysfunctional . Hahaha. But malfunctional 's still good :)

What's it like in Texas city? I have a ton of math homework to catch up on...and I have to read some boring crap for history. Unfortunately, more anxiety was put upon me today because I now bear the knowledge of my grades in my most important classes (only one of which I really like). For all of those three classes, I am so close to an A. But it's only a B+. Well, for chemistry it's an 86.66666etc, but I could have easily gotten an A by now if I had only studied harder for last week's exam. Which, I suppose, I'm happy about, because I didn't fail although I had really expected to. I missed an A by one point! Yet again, so close, yet so frustratingly far . I hate that. It really frustrates me, knowing that I'm almost there, but I keep fluctuating back and forth, back and back, forth, back... And I cannot believe I have an 89.8% for history. That is so lame! Even though he said it's an A in his class, it's not an A for me. It's still a freaking B...

am I. I'm hungry. I have to read a whole freaking (summary of a) long play and another shorter play and do a persuasive essay on drama. Gee, if only the assignment was pertaining to real-life "drama" , I could pour my words out and be done before dinner. Or maybe I'll never finish. Nonetheless, it'd be better than writing about two plays that I have no desire whatsoever to read. It's not even for me, which lessens my interest in reading and writing about them. I spent a whole half an hour on the phone explaining an assignment to a friend. What a good person I am. I was supposed to be practicing piano, too. Geez, I hate how I'm so..." helpful " or whatever to others, but not so much to myself. If that didn't make sense to you, then whatever. Really, I need to allocate my time better. I really, really do. But I never do. My back hurts again; I'm sleepy. I want to read, and I want to write. But not the aforementioned plays. I want to read my...

and everything that I knew... I still haven't finished all, or actually, any of my homework yet. Gee, I'm such a great... goal accomplisher. Yesterday, Black Friday, involved a whole lot of long lines and a whole lot of...cars. Parking lot for the latter, I mean. It was okay, I suppose. Besides the fact that a whole lot of dinero was spent on clothes we probably won't even get to finish beginning to wear, seeing as how winter only lasts two to three months, but probably more around two, because it's not that cold here in the City of Angels. Or whatever. I'm being discursive again. I can't believe next Saturday is December 1st already! I feel like November hasn't even begun yet! October was...probably the longest month, I think. The time always just passes by too quickly. Although, I might have mentioned one too many times before here, time always goes by at the same speed (or sometimes, lack thereof, it seems). It's a matter of what we do and how we f...

need to know how badly they sing. I hear some of my neighbors kareoke-ing the song "I Can't Help Falling in Love With You" by the A*Teens very horribly. Actually, the girl's voice sounds okay... But when she and the male sing together... WOW. Yes, it ended! Okay, never mind. New song now. Oh well. HAPPY THANKSGIVING. One of my friends said that there's no point in Thanksgiving, because who is there to give thanks to? Well, I think that every day should be Thanksgiving, but then that would make it simply thanksgiving and not Thanksgiving. I mean, really. We ought to be thankful for everything we already have everyday, ought we not? Why is it only one day of the year that we "celebrate?" And what is it we celebrate, anyway? Do people even give thanks on this one day of the year? On the other hand, at least there's not no day that "thanks" isn't "given." And what's the deal with turkey , anyway? Why turkey, of all the meats...

There are many times when I simply dislike that some things are cut short: the best conversations, time with the best people, adventures... sometimes even school! Although, time always passes by at the same pace. I guess when you're having a good time, it tends to pass by more rapidly than when you're not. I actually had time and effort to ponder something about half an hour ago. I have come to not conclude, but form an opinion about fairness . How often have we all heard that life isn't fair? Well, I was thinking, maybe it is. Things just are the way we make them, and even if nothing seemed fair, we have ourselves to blame for that. We could certainly change what isn't fair, for most cases, anyway. Which also leads me to say, again, that people waste too much time complaining. I mean, really. Especially when they complain that they don't have enough time to do something. Come on! You're dumping away your time by doing that! Geez. And it also irritates me that...

Today was somewhat cold... So the history test was postponed to Wednesday, since lots of people were complaining like wimps about having two exams on one day. Sheesh, just get with the program, why don't they? Suck it up. Teachers in college aren't going to postpone exams just because their students have other exams on the same day. It's called preparation , people. Get with it. Anyway, there's only a chemistry exam tomorrow. I admit that I did not know anything at all. Literally. For the past five weeks or so, I have just been sitting in class, half-asleep about half the time, just copying the notes but not knowing what I am writing. Heck, I haven't even studied until about 4:30 prime meridian today. But after after-school review with the teacher, I felt SO GOOD, because, well, I actually paid attention. Now I need to review the review and study the other lessons from the book. Speaking of tests, we got our math test from last week back today. I missed an A by ONE ...

Episode 8 was EXCELLENT! I hope Jenny and Nate don't get together... As much as I like Jenny, I deem her a Nate-stealer. I love her brother, though! And Nate. Gossip Girl , okay?

always gives me a feeling of satisfaction. No matter how crappy I feel, I'm always better after a writing spree. Not that I felt crappy today. I'm just saying. I am officially sick. Great job, Wendy. Yeah, I was talking to myself there. So, this makes me wonder: What's the point of flu shots, again? I get one every year, yet I still get sick at least once a year, and that's usually in November, after almost everybody else gets sick and well. After my sister contaminates everything at home. And here I thought flu shots are supposed to prevent you from getting sick. Gee-whiz. What a rip of twenty-five bucks. So, I have two exams on Tuesday... Chemistry and European History. I should study history now and chem tomorrow... Or start chem...Or whatever. Geez, I don't want to think about it. I really hope I do well on both, though. Good thing we don't have a math test too that day. There is an English grammar test tomorrow. I LOVE grammar. Or, as my eighth grade Eng...

I'm gonna break through I'm gonna have some fun, That's what I'm gonna do. So, it's been how long? Gee. It's a beautiful Sunday afternoon. The sun isn't shining, but it isn't raining, either. It's bright cloudy and cool, with minimal winds. Currently about 65 degrees. Well, it's a beautiful day for me. My braces are going to be removed soon! The process actually started today, so by December 9, they'll be gone. But then again, I wouldn't mind having them for a couple more months, but oh well. Yesterday, I watched episode 7 of Gossip Girl . It was so good! I LOVE THAT SHOW! Like I've said numerous times before. It's just something that I haven't gotten sick of saying yet. It's such a good show! But I've read some comments about the show, and lots of people who read or have read the books (strongly) dislike the show, because nothing goes accordingly. Some of them actually hate the show! Clearly, I haven't read any o...

Give me a name, Give me a story Give me what you think, Give me all you've got Identity, Identify me Judgement, Judge me Whatever, wherever Let me simply be Be more than your judgement of my identity. I am SO SORE today. In PE, we actually played a good basketball game (and got an A). Afterward, I was actually perspiring. Then later on in the afternoon, I played some more basketball, then some volleyball, which completely sored up my arms. Now my back hurts even more than it did two days ago. And my legs are all cramped up. I need to seek physical therapy, haha. Monday, we start volleyball for PE. And just when basketball was getting good. Geez, the way things turn out. I actually learned how to shoot...or, well, score , a basket today! It was so cool! It really works-- most of the time. Awesome :) And I made two shots from the half-court line today. Another "awesome." Ow, my back hurts. I love Gossip Girl . If I haven't emphasized that enough already. Speaking of emp...

Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker. ~Author Unknown Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.~William Shakespeare, Mid-Summer Night's Dream Shall we compare our hearts to a garden -with beautiful blooms, straggling weeds,swooping birds and sunshine, rain -and most importantly, seeds.~Grey Livingston A hundred hearts would be too fewTo carry all my love for you.~Author Unknown Will you love me in December as you do in May, Will you love me in the good old fashioned way? When my hair has all turned gray, Will you kiss me then and say, That you love me in December as you do in May?~James J. Walker For you see, each day I love you more Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.~Rosemonde Gerard Just thought I'd refresh this with some love, since I'm such a hater. Som...

While I was entering the restroom just two minutes ago to throw away trash, I almost bumped smack into the wall. When I came out, I kicked a shoebox. Then I was about to put on slippers to go into the kitchen, and I almost (again) bumped into the shelf right there. Boy, am I alert today. I guess the "badness" of things always eventually fade away. Fourth through sixth periods aren't so bad anymore. Although sixth period PE is still quite detestable from time to time. The sun is so unbelievably bright at that time! Speaking of weather, the weather this week has been INSANE. The winds can literally blow a child away. They're literally HUGE GUSTS, not breezes , but CONTINUAL GUSTS of HURRICANEOUS WIND. (No, "hurricaneous" isn't a word.) I read about the fires on CBS2new.com (or something like that) when I got home earlier. It's really tragic, really. 300,000 people as of now have had to evacuate their homes. 13 or 14 fires concurrently going. Unbelieva...

Recall the "Lah Dee Dah" blog, and what the bolded text says. It REALLY hit me today that I am "afraid" of failure after giving something my all. I don't want to "waste" my effort and work and not succeed at something. I like competition, but I don't like losing. But losing is vital, because for everything you lose, there's something you gain back. Or in this case, for everything you win, there's something else you lose. I suppose this could mean that I'm an ALL-OR-NOTHING person. Although, being the hypocrite (as with everybody else in this world) that I am, many of the things I do reach their codas about halfway through the process. Which leads back to the "fear of failure" factor. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels like this.

Again, I ought to be studying, but I'm "taking a break." I sure take long breaks... What is there to say? Hmm. Actually, I've got nothing tonight. Okay, so Gossip Girl really isn't allowed to be watched on YouTube anymore, according to what I personally experienced about two hours ago. "Personally experienced"-- what a funny phrase. Tomorrow is yet another workshop day. Joy. "You've got more issues than a magazine stand." Hahaha. That is hilarious. I really take pleasure in footballing ;) I can actually throw and catch! If there was a girls' football team, I'd probably try out for it. Just a thought. What in the world am I doing here? I don't even have anything interesting to say. I'm wasting my time that passes by oh so quickly. I really need to read a new book. I haven't read for pleasure since August, when Fourth Comings came out. Dagnabbit. Um...yeah. And I guess I'm homegoing , or...going to the homecoming danc...

Today was a pretty good day, albeit the boring-ness of it all. I am so bad at impromptu speeches. Especially for a person who constantly makes things up as she goes along? My impromptus are horrible ! But I'll work on it...and hopefully get better at it, obviously. I clearly need to find myself a new word or two. Hmm, what now...? I can't wait until the next episode of Gossip Girl ;) Agh, okay, I guess this is it for tonight, then. Just when I do have time, I don't have anything to write. Geez.

Okay, so I just finished watching the full Episode 4 of G.G. on YouTube. So it's all good. Yay!! :)

So, I really don't want to quit piano. Then again, I really don't want to continue. My heart simply isn't in it anymore. I feel that it'd be unfair to my teacher if I just keep going to lessons but not willing to practice. Half-hearted. It's just not the way to go for something like this. Hence, I shall take a (long) break. Though whoever knows me knows that that will eventually lead to quitting anyway. But taking a break sounds better than just plain quitting. Who knows? Maybe one day my interest in piano will grow back...maybe not. ( cough, cough ) Not much to talk about today. Didn't do much today, and that includes homework, although I was at school for seven hours. But that's beside the point that I didn't get much done today. So I shall do homework after this...And do homework tomorrow night, obviously. I seriously feel like breaking off connections with everyone sometimes. It's like, "JUST LEAVE ME THE FREAKING HECK ALONE, WHY DON'T...

Was it really just yesterday that I last posted? It seems so long ago. Tomorrow night, I will watch episode... 4 of Gossip Girl on YouTube. The third one made me cry. I watched it twice and I cried twice. But that's a good thing. I love books and movies (in this case, TV shows) that make me cry. So...yeah. We have gone for about six weeks without dressing for la clase de educacion fisica , and they decide to make us dress manana , of all days. Oh, joy. I'm going to be basketballing with a whole bunch of morons. So excited. I just found out that Megan McCafferty is doing a reading or whatever of her latest book, Fourth Comings at UCLA on November 28th. At noon. Dagnabbit! I'm going to be in Spanish class during that time!! Argh! I so want to attend that event. I so do. Ugh, people these days.

Today, I got to watch THE BEST BASKETBALL GAME EVER. I mean, sure we lost. But still. It was INTENSE. I really could feel the energy and invigoration of the players right from where I was sitting. It was AMAZING. It swept me off my feet . Who needs one guy to do that when there's a gymful of them playing the best basketball game ever ? The game was SO CLOSE. But like I said, the other team won. During the game, I was practically biting my jacket! And afterward, I was HYPER HYPER! I was obsessed with the best game ever . I still am. I found out the name of my object of admiration (a.k.a. 32 ). I just need to get closer to the scoreboard next time to see the surname, then I can officially "stalk" him. Yay! Yeah, I'm obsessed. But hey. It was THE BEST GAME EVER.

(if only accent marks were available) Episode 4 of Gossip Girl tomorrow at 9 p.m. on CW!

Yeah. I woke up at 5:34 a.m., did the routinely wake-up stuff, then went to school, got home a little before 4 p.m. Currently taking a "break" from math homework. And...I have nothing to say. Oh, but something out of the ordinary did happen today. In fifth period, we actually learned...! Which was, well, surprising, on my part. Actually, fourth through sixth periods weren't bad today. Just today. Maybe someday I'll start to enjoy, or at least not despise, those classes. Okay, this was just a uselessly meaningless write. Hasta luego.

...that sharing is caring. Here's what I say: Don't care, don't share. But unlike what I say, I don't share, but I do care. And sharing isn't always necessarily caring. Sharing a cigarette isn't caring. You're killing the person you're supposedly "sharing" it with. So there you go. Yet another example that there are two sides to everything. Today is Monday. Tomorrow is Tuesday. Blah blah blah. You know, what's the use of calendars? The days all pass by the same anyway. It's not as if knowing what "day" it is would change how things turn out or anything. And how in the world would we know that there are however many days in one month? That there are seven days a week? It's all supposed . I would love to get into all this and the literally part, but I'm short on time, as I have homework, although I technically don't have any homework due tomorrow, but I should really study and read to study. Etcetera. Here are two li...

...and I am breathing in the moment. As I look around, I can't believe the love I see. My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubts. That was then, this is my now... Love that song I really ought to be doing homework right now. I just finished writing in my journal for...almost two hours. It's quite invigorating, really. I really should do homework. It's almost become my FINAL decision to quit piano. I honestly don't care anymore. I never practice. Though it's hard for me to give it up, it's even harder knowing that I'm just letting my teacher on, because I know that I couldn't care less about it anymore. Piano has become one of my " identifiers ", as I like to call it, and that's one of the reasons why it's taken me so long to actually not mind stopping. I could always practice even though I won't have lessons anymore. But let's get real here. I don't practice even when I do have lessons. Agh, we'll see how it a...

I'm back. I was on the computer from after "breakfast" until now. And I haven't gotten much done. I was supposed to finish my chemistry investigation, but I didn't. I was supposed to do my math homework, but I haven't. I was supposed to write a draft of one of my stories yesterday. I just finished it now. Yet, after all I was supposed to do but haven't done, I feel accomplished. Because I wrote. I wrote what I felt, and I wrote how I felt. Actually, it was a rewrite of a story, but I still feel good about it, because I wrote . I love writing. I don't know why I haven't mentioned it here before, but the point is that I do. I haven't mentioned another thing: Gossip Girl : it's what's good. I watch it on YouTube (the only reason why I even go to that website these days). Much thanks to the people who post them. I LOVE that show. It is simply enthralling. Fascinating. Nate is fine ;) Blah...

...Then give me your heart. I haven't done this is in so long. I have been almost overwhelmingly busy with schoolwork, for the first time ever in my academic career. Not surprisingly, I haven't been getting a sufficient amount of sleep, either. Except last night. I slept around midnight and woke up this morning at 11:20. Hallelujah. "Cold" weather has actually begun. Joy to that. I was happy yesterday because the weather was so enjoyable. For me, anyway. So many things have happened, yet it all seems so... boring to talk about now, after so long. I still hate my classes, especially fourth through sixth periods. It's always between those classes that I come up with mean comments and ideas to say to people but never actually say them. Undoubtedly, I find those classes highly detestable. Still. One of my classes, however, has become my haven, almost. I am "deca-cated"... It seems that all I've been doing has been all for Deca. Although I never really st...

"I've got to move on and be who I am." I woke up at 11:48 a.m. today, ate "breakfast", and plunked myself down at the computer for the rest of the afternoon. Basically, I've been on the computer all day today. With the exception of doing math homework for about half an hour. I actually got ahead on my chemistry homework, which is good. Although, I really need to set my priorities straight, because really, I could have been studying instead. Not that getting ahead isn't good. Anyway, I watched just about the whole first episode of Gossip Girl on YouTube today. It was FREAKING AWESOME. I loved it so much. It's really really good. Like, really. Then in the evening I started watching clips of High School Musical 2 . Lots of new songs! Yay! So, it's actually been cold this week. And it actually rained last night and today. It's nice. But this time of year, people have all these allergies and colds and whatnot, and I get really... paranoid when I...

Gossip Girl premieres at 9:00, which is about an hour and twenty minutes from this very moment. I am so... sigh . I just want to be able to watch some television or read or write something (not including this, obviously) without having to worry about studying all the time. Today was COLD. I actually started having a "good day" in third period just because of the weather, but it was REALLY COLD by sixth period. And by 4:00, it was INSANELY COLD! Like, frio like in the Arctic! Not that I'd know exactly how cold it gets there, but still. It's nice, though, I guess, because then I can snuggle up. With...my jacket/sweater. It's a very heartwarming, fulfilling feeling. Hahaha. Okay, I should be studying my arse off right now. And for the rest of the semester. It finally hit me hard today that I have A LOT of things to handle and manage (or try to) right now. So seriously. I need to prioritize my time. And this should not be a priority. Goodness gracious.

Gossip Girl starts tomorrow on CW. Oh, yay. I am not obsessed. ...I wasn't in denial. It's the truth. But still, I'd like to watch it. Today, I totally hated EVERYONE. Just plain HATED EVERYONE. Seriously. I think I'm back to my "I hate everyone and the general public" phase that originated from seventh/eighth grade. It's probably because EVERYONE IN MY CLASSES SUCK! Okay, not all my classes, but two or three of them. Still, that's enough to make me hate the general public again. In sixth period PE today, while I was walking around, I so wanted an idiot to bump into me or something just so that I could be totally rude to them with a legitimate excuse. I wanted to yell, "What's your problem? Watch where you're going!" or something. At one point, while my friend and I were just sitting on the ground in the shade, I actually stated somewhat loudly, "I hate everyone!" The person who was talking to two other people behind us sto...