Days of My Life

The past several days have been absolutely splendid. I love December for its winter break, winter break for its free time, free time for...well, my friends. :) On the 23rd, I hosted a gathering at home, and in the beginning, I was worried that people would be bored or disinterested, but after the first round of congregated eating, the guys played cards and video games, while the girls talked and played other games. Although there was a gender separation, nobody seemed to mind, so I didn't either. Long story short, it was a wonderful day, from the food and games to the chats and laughs. Yay for birthday/ holiday gatherings! On the 24th, N and I went to Ten Ren for the first time and had good food! Afterward, I went over to my cousins' home because J was having hot pot with his friends (and family, of course). I had two laughing fits in a row and ended up crying hysterically, completely undecided between laughing normally and crying normally. And although my eyes became dry and m...

I understand that it is December, but this continual rainfall is ridiculously uncharacteristic of Southern California weather! And it makes going out a lot less exciting and convenient. In any case, it's been a while since the last blog post, so here I am again, with my laptop on my lap and my feet up on my laser printer box. On Friday, I went to the Glendale Galleria with J and P, and it was actually immensely enjoyable! I learned that I like shopping with girl friends a lot more than with anybody else. We were there for about three hours, compared to the usual hour (at most) I am usually there for. Whimsically, I purchased quite a few articles of clothing for myself, and I felt so bad, but still so pleased. Guilty pleasure is pleasure nonetheless, I suppose. The pile of merchandise has been neatly folded, and it is currently on the floor in my bedroom... I probably should do laundry one of these days. I don't even know what else to say anymore. Yesterday, I started playing Ca...

That's how I like my meat. But that's now how I like my blog posts! I always have the intention to update my life in writing, but I rarely actually do it. However, here I am now, bearing both the intention and the will to write for you and for myself. Today, I hung out with old people... My mother woke me up at an unpleasant 9 in the morning to go yum cha, and for once, I actually did get up and go with her and my dad! Actually, I drove my dad and myself to Monterey Palace Restaurant on Garvey and waited for a table, only to have to wait another half hour or so for my mother to arrive with her San Francisco friends she picked up from Pasadena, where they are staying until tomorrow. The dining experience was terrible today! We gave the waiter the paper of our order, and a long while later, we asked about it. The manager came and gave us a blank order paper because they had lost our original one from a long, long time ago. So he signed a 10% discount for us, to which I retorted,...

Today was another one of those days I stupidly stayed home and waited while doing nothing because I expected. I should just eliminate all expectations from now on to prevent the uncomfortable feeling of my throat choking up, my eyes watering and my heart beating of anger and disappointment. But for some reason, I am never able to stop expecting. I wish I could reciprocate the disappointment, but I hate so much to disappoint others and myself, although I seem to make the latter happen all the time. Oh, well. Because that's what it is to the disappoint-er when I am the disappoint-ee.

Years ago, we thought about even more years ago as he sat down next to me on one of those dusty whitish benches beside the miniature basketball courts. He said to me, "You were allergic to eggs... or something, right?" Wrong. But yes, something. It is currently 2:34 a.m. and I am in post-"P.S. I Love You" mode. In other words, I felt that it might take me a while to fall asleep tonight--yet again--so I finally decided to get up and blog instead of toss and turn in my bed. Well, truth be told, I'm still in bed, but not tossing and turning, or else my laptop would be demolished by my 100+ pounds, and that would be one of the most terrible occurrences ever! I care for my technology like I would care for my blanket. I am quite ashamed that my blog posts are so utterly rare nowadays. And like I have said many times before, it isn't like I truly have that many things to do. Often, I just sit at my desk, stalking people on Facebook or... yeah, just that. Or I watch...

I decided to transfer to UCSD after having completed one and a half years at UCLA. It was more for the sake of spontaneity and change than anything else. It was a while past dusk, and I was carrying with me my black Adidas duffel bag three-quarters full of clothes and toiletries and nothing else. My mom was walking through the woods with me, toward my new dorm room. Upon arrival at my dorm building, I had trouble finding room 221 because the room numbers were in disarray. Finally, I settled in by putting my bag down on the floor and sitting on my lofted bed. The room was unbelievably spacious and empty, even with my already settled in roommate in there, as well. Then I walked outside, and my mom told me to walk with her to the car, and once we got there, she said she needed to walk me back to my dorm so I don't walk through the woods alone. She held on to my wrist with her left hand and to an umbrella--shading from what, I don't know--with her right. Then, I went to a small con...

It is currently 9:42 p.m. and I am in the Powell Library because the Internet is completely down in most buildings on the residence hill. Clearly, my building is one of them, or else I would not have taken the dangerously dark trek all the way down here just to blog and stalk people on Facebook. Well, actually, I would have gone to the gym, but it closes at 9:45 on Fridays, and I was not ready by 8:30 to go because I had just finished eating dinner. So I came with J to the library because she's a crazy person who actually would work after having studied all week for a midterm and having taken the midterm. This is what I do after I take a midterm. I can't believe I hadn't blogged in weeks until now. What is wrong with me? It isn't like I have any valid excuse, either, because until today, I have had perfectly functional Internet in my room, and until this week, I hadn't done ANY studying or reading. Today concludes the fourth week of college. I can't believe it...

Sincerely speaking, I have been meaning to blog for over a week now, but I just never got around to it. The television is always on, I'm always evading homework by turning to Facebook and Twitter; other than that, I'm either walking to and from class without ever really paying attention to lectures or even discussion or brisk-walking to the gym to work out. And unlike many of my friends and even my roommates, I haven't been doing homework or reading at all. I feel like such a bad student. And then I go to the gym and feel better. How odd. My first English paper rough draft is due next Wednesday, and I hope to start it this weekend. It's called a "close reading paper" on contemporary poetry, four pages required. I am quite excited to do it. And I don't recall if I have mentioned this yet, but college English is no joke. Especially in a class full of other English majors. It's a bit comforting, though, to know that I am no longer one of only a few Englis...

I miss The Boiling Crab. I REALLY, REALLY want to de-shell those succulent shrimps and dip each one into pepper/ lemon juice and then pick at Cajun fries. Other than that, I'm disappointed that I haven't been wanting to write these days. I haven't even been doing very much these past few days, other than walking around and eating and working out. And sitting around. Doing nothing. I brought my journal with me and put it in my desk drawer, expecting to write often. Yet, I have written none. Goodness. Today at dinner, something out of the ordinary occurred. J and I went to the "frozen yogurt" machine because we wanted to feel better by not getting "soft serve ice cream". We each got a cone and walked over to the frozen yogurt machine. I went first and pulled the strawberry lever. All of a sudden, pink liquid SPLATTERED all over the place. The cone toppled in my hands and I dropped it onto the bottom of the machine. Pink puddles of not so frozen yogurt inva...

I moved into UCLA yesterday at four. And it seems like so very long ago. It is currently 11:45 p.m. and I have been so tired from sleeping at 3:30 a.m. and waking up five and a half hours later and all the walking up and down infinite flights of stairs and the nonstop to and from. In other words, I'm not thinking clearly and my thoughts are coming to mind in fragmented clauses, so some of the things I will say might not make sense. Honestly, although I have been waiting to feel like writing, the feeling still has yet to arrive, so that's another reason for my fragmented clauses thinking. Also, I'm facing the television in our room. Yay. Yesterday, S, D, and my mom came with me to help me move into 720B at the end of the hallway. It was quite a quick process. Relatively painless and relatively simple. Now, everything is in its proper place for the time being, and I need only a few more items to make this room more comfortable for the next three quarters. Last night, J, J, W ...

According to my Blogger homepage, my last post was from August 26, which means today's post is long, long overdue. Because I lack any other interesting or extraordinary activity to tend to, I have decided to dedicate this evening/ night to writing, something I have not done for a long time, notwithstanding my very first in a long time journal entry last night, which I shall discuss later on. I have been M.I.A. here for a long time. But I must point out that I have logged onto Blogger and clicked on "New Post" a good number of times with the good, pure intention of blogging. And then every time, something came up: the washing machine beeped, I got thirsty or hungry, "CSI: NY" came on, an IM window flashed, et cetera. And the Blogger new post tab just remained neglected until somebody closed it. Frequently in the past few weeks, I thought about writing--blogging, journaling, corresponding. But, shame on me, I never did it! I always felt that I had something better...

I slept at almost 2:30 last night (because I had trouble falling asleep again) and woke up at 7:57, only to fell back asleep on and off until 9:14. I suck at sleeping nowadays. I mean, even on days I don't have work, I end up sleeping later and waking up at almost the same time. What the heck is up with that?! Two days ago, I found out that the youth program actually ends on September 7, which means that I work until that day, which means I have two weeks less of vacation. Which means I have two weeks of vacation. If that. So while everybody else is happy that they get to get paid more, I am mad because I get to rest less! As of now, I have had three dreams about work. The office lead--the one I was covering for my first two weeks in the office--said that that's an indication that I work too much. Now there's a wonder! Speaking of dreams, I really have been dreaming almost every night since I watched "Inception". How scary. And yesterday, I had deja vu at one poin...

Tonight, we went to The Boiling Crab on Main Street in Alhambra. Immensely glad I am that I remembered to suggest it when we were deciding where to go for dinner. We waited a while, but the meal was worth every minute's wait. Even better, it was worth more than every dollar paid. Twenty-something for seriously excellent seafood and quick service?! That's my kind of food fantasy. And I might sound so fat right now, but the great thing is that I don't feel fat. Unlike when I finish eating McDonald's or something. The one-pound of shrimp with the whole sha-bang seasoning was amazing. The fried catfish basket with Cajun fries was not as amazing as the shrimp, but amazing nonetheless. Heck, even the corn on the cob was good! Gosh, good stuff. I highly recommend this place to anyone who is not allergic to seafood. This morning, I woke up at 9:00 because W called me to invite me to Universal Studios, but I declined despite the $20 ticket because 1) I don't have money, and...

It's been four days since I last blogged, and that feels like way too long. And although I don't particularly know exactly what I might talk about here tonight, I'm blogging because I feel like it. Currently, I am listening to "Her Words Destroyed My Planet" by Motion City Soundtrack. About half an hour ago, I came back from ROCK hangout at V's home. I had expected games and conversations, but it was just a handful of us--mostly girls--watching television or arguing about what to watch on it. Food included pizza, tortilla chips, and orange juice. And then mango cake for dessert, which looked far too sweet for me to try, so I didn't. Yay, me. For the past week or two, I have been craving Mexican food. I hope N and I go to Dino's tomorrow so we can satisfy both of our cravings. And I hope there will be some good talking going on then, because this obvious shortage of communication yesterday and today is killing me. I've already discussed how importan...

At 9:30, I spontaneously went to Yogurtland with V because I was too bored and hadn't planned to do anything useful anyway. The frozen yogurt was tremendous bliss to my taste buds. I hadn't gone there in a long while, and they just so happened to have my favorite flavors tonight: peach, mango, lemonade-passionfruit, vanilla wafer. Yummy yummy for my tummy. And the talk wasn't half bad, either. We asked very few questions but received extremely long responses from one another, which I appreciate. Anyway, I'm glad that short and sweet (haha) event took place, or else my day of utter boredom would have miserably and pathetically continued. Even though I had things to do at work today, I was just so darn bored! Strangely, I wasn't even thinking of anything to un-bore myself. And now I'm blogging a boring post! This is quite uncharacteristic of me. Uncharacteristic meaning, it hasn't happened in a while. Last night, I finally organized all the items in and on my ...

Earlier tonight, I had thought of something things I wanted to write about. But right now, the outstanding matter on my mind is, I don't know whether to worry more for myself or for others. While I was showering, which is always my time to either ponder most deeply or clear my mind, I kept thinking, "I should be more selfish when...and less selfish when..." Which made me feel guilty. Guilty because I haven't been thinking about or doing enough for myself with some people and guilty because I haven't been thinking about or doing enough for others with other people. Resolution would be wonderful, but I don't think that I can suddenly change myself like that. Or suddenly change my relationships with people like that. I don't know if it sounds as drastic to you as it does to myself in my own head. And although I'm not sure if resolution will ever occur, I sure hope it will find its way into my life, for the goodness and betterment of myself and for others....

This is the second night of UCLA's freshman orientation, and I started my series of incessant yawns about two hours ago. In other words, I am immensely sleepy, and here I am, on the second night of orientation, sitting alone in my assigned dorm room, blogging. There's nothing even much to do. Today was merely about deciding what classes we want to take for the fall, but it's not even until tomorrow that we sign up for them. And who knows if we will get them after all? Goodness gracious. But yeah. I am exhausted. Quite frankly, I haven't particularly cared to make any new friends over the past two days, because I'll just see them again in just about a month. And if I don't, well, it doesn't really matter, because the population here is so overwhelmingly large anyhow. If I sound unhappy or nonchalant, it's because I really am. I didn't want to come here to begin with, and now I want to go home. I don't think I should be feeling this way, because it...

It's actually 11:59 right now, and I should be getting ready to sleep since I have work tomorrow, but I feel like writing, so I am going to take advantage of this urge before it goes away for who knows how long. Today, I woke up at 10:01 and whipped my blanket away, for some reason in a rush to get up. And then my phone dropped onto the floor after it hit the end of my bed... I got up, did my morning routines, and ate some fried rice for my late breakfast. Then I loitered on the Internet until around noon, when I got the idea to make a special collage-poster for a certain somebody for a certain occasion. So I gathered the supplies needed and started my project around one. By two, I had completed a relatively nice project. For an hour, I waited and waited for something to happen, but nothing did. Finally, I went to ROCK Sunday. I am so glad I decided to go instead of sit around at home, waiting for Godot. It started off very slowly and uneventfully, but eventually, it picked up and ...

I have a lot to write about, but since I don't feel quite in the writing mood tonight, all I will say is... I just found out that I have to take the math placement test during orientation. I thought passing the AP Calc exam exempted me from that! AND supposedly, I indicated I do NOT want a partial fee waiver for that stupidly expensive orientation. WHEN DID I DO THAT, HUH? I clearly remember reading the guidelines for it and clicking yes. Darn them.

So much conflict has exploded right in front of me in the last two or three days. It is insane. I mean, there I was, just working and coming home and doing the usual nothing, and after one or two days of different activities, I get all this drama in my face! I haven't had to deal with so much PERSONAL "drama" in such a long time that at some moments, I pause in the midst of the accusations and tears to ask myself if this is really my reality as of present. Despite the plenty of tears I have shed in the past 48 hours and the plenty of times I have questioned what I have gotten myself into, I am okay now. Just like I've always known I would always be. There are two ways of looking at this: It's all a part of God's plan. He presents everybody with obstacles to help us learn and to help us grow and to develop our faith in Him. Yeah, it's difficult, discouraging, demanding, but each step has its respectively meaningful purpose. And every step we conquer only st...

Just like that? Talk to me. I couldn't concentrate at work today because I kept thinking about one thing, one person who might not even have been thinking of me at all. Thinking and thinking and thinking, endlessly and tearfully and painfully. We need to talk because I need resolution: tie up loose ends find conflict and extinguish it We need to talk because I need to know: what went wrong? why did you change everything? how could you just not talk to me? when will it be right again? You promised: to talk with me no matter what to celebrate eight.eight. to treat me well to take care of me Where are you for all of this now?

This is my 400th blog post! And it will soon be my blog's third birthday, if I remember correctly. But that can wait a few weeks. I have so many plans for August, and so many events have occurred in the past few days that I can't help but think that August has already begun, when in fact, it begins tomorrow. Yesterday was such a good day, quite possibly the best single day I've had in a while. I woke up with the intention to go do my blood test until I realized I didn't have my medical insurance card. Then I loitered around downstairs until N came to get me so we could go yum cha at the usual place. For some reason, they didn't have shiu mai, but the ha cheng (rough translation) was splendid. Afterward, we bought a large peach green tea (yum) from the usual drink place, then went home and loitered around there. I got back around 5:20, when A still hadn't arrived yet. Finally, she arrived, as did my A relatives, haha. T and I made plans to go running, and then sa...

I got your back boy We were high We were low but I promise I will never let you go said I got I got I got I got your back boy I got I got I got I got your back boy (I know you got my back right) keep my swagger keep it looking good for ya keep it looking hood for ya shawty if you don't know I got I got I got I got your back boy "I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me." -Warren Buffet Work today was unbelievably tiresome and tedious. From 9:45 until 4:00, all I did was sort through box office paperwork from the weekend, including Friday, because nobody is in the office on the weekends and nobody else would go and do that stupid stuff for the office manager because nobody is as nice and passive as I am! Hmph. I told myself to take it slowly, too, so I wouldn't be assigned even more tasks, but then I finished with an hour left... But I must admit that I spent a good amount of that time just chatting on AIM and walking to and from the cubicle. And it was cold! ...

ROCK retreat was splendid. I am immensely glad that I decided to attend after all. Maybe I should just go against my initial decisions from now on, seeing as how this one and all previous ones turned out quite well in this manner. I miss it already. It was so different from last year's and so much better, not that last year's was not good. Even though we didn't have foosball or pool or air hockey or anything, we made the best of what we had: Scrabble, Monopoly, Apples to Apples, mah jong kit, and each other! And, of course, God. So here's my not-so-brief rehash of one my wonderful weekend. On Friday, I arrived at church with an unbelievably bloated, pained stomach for no reason at all! I took two Tylenol pills and started feeling a bit better about two hours later. As for the departure bus... Well, there was none because there was a misunderstanding regarding it. But that turned out for the better, because we got to ride in counselors' cars in smaller groups and bon...

It's that time of year again. ROCK retreat: departing today at 2:00 p.m. and returning on Sunday afternoon. I hope it's good and I hope we will all be safe and have fun. This year is so different from last year, though. Last year was my first time going away from home for more than half a day at a time, and my mother was so overly anxious about everything, lecturing me time and again and trying to persuade me to change my mind. Finally, she let me go, but she called numerous times a day to check up on me. Now, it's as simple as, "Make sure you pack enough clothes and a jacket in case it gets cold." From both of my parents. Ironically, though, I didn't even really want to go this year, but I am going anyway. Consider this my weekend vacation, haha. But my point is, I appreciate that my parents have begun to trust me more and have been more okay with me staying out for longer periods of time. Certainly, they will always be overprotective, but like I have always ...