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Becoming Happier

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I can't always make other people happy. It's hard to do and even harder to admit. I spent years making decisions and commitments based on what I thought others wanted or needed, forgoing the better decisions for and commitments to myself. I tried to convince myself that seeing other people happy made me happy, but alas, they were only fleeting moments. On the occasions I failed to make somebody happy, I became disappointed. On the occasions somebody was completely unappreciative, I became angry. Furthermore, I can't ever base my happiness on one person, or any group of persons. I have to find happiness on my own terms, and that means asking myself what I want, and actually doing it. (from " Reflections ", January 2018)  You know the saying, "Do what makes you happy"? Well, I've been trying that out for the past year or so, and it really works. It took a lot for me to realize that I hadn't been happy, and it took a long time for me to become h...
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Good Days

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The past several days have been absolutely splendid. I love December for its winter break, winter break for its free time, free time for...well, my friends. :) On the 23rd, I hosted a gathering at home, and in the beginning, I was worried that people would be bored or disinterested, but after the first round of congregated eating, the guys played cards and video games, while the girls talked and played other games. Although there was a gender separation, nobody seemed to mind, so I didn't either. Long story short, it was a wonderful day, from the food and games to the chats and laughs. Yay for birthday/ holiday gatherings! On the 24th, N and I went to Ten Ren for the first time and had good food! Afterward, I went over to my cousins' home because J was having hot pot with his friends (and family, of course). I had two laughing fits in a row and ended up crying hysterically, completely undecided between laughing normally and crying normally. And although my eyes became dry and m...
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