It's Kind of Hard
to come up with a new, attention-grabbing title for each post. Though, one could simply number their posts, but then that'd be utterly boring and even less attention-grabbing.
I truly miss Sunday, December 23, 2007. It was just four days ago, but it feels like it's been a whole year already. The vivid details and imagery have faded; only the big ideas remain. The barbecue was incredibly...not necessarily fun, but I'll give it that anyway. It was probably the best day of the year for me. It was amazing, despite any little problems on the way and afterward. Simply, truly amazing. I didn't realize until about twenty hours later that it was my sweet sixteen "celebration". And I must say, it was sweet, indeed. There were three cakes! And of course, some fun-filled caking. I kept saying for two days that if I could, I would go back to that day and live it all over again. I'm pretty sure that this is the first time that I have ever wanted to go back to a day of the past.
Anyway, I'll spare all the details, because I've thought about it one time too many. And it's all too much to actually put into writing. Trust me. I've begun and was into three pages in on Microsoft Word, then gave up because I was barely even halfway done at that point. I know, I'm lazy.
So, it turns out that I do have a whole lot of homework to still do. And get done. Hopefully before next Sunday. Just last night, I finished one packet of notes for history. At this moment, I am almost halfway through with the next packet. Then I still have chemistry and...(ugh) math. Math. Eww. Yuck. Blech. Agh.
This year, none of the holidays felt like, well, "holidays." I suppose it could be because time has passed by so quickly that it's kind of hard to believe that it's already that day. Or whatever. In just a matter of four days (even less), a new year is to arrive. It'll be time to take down the 2007 calendars and put up the '08 ones. Time will be another year older, but still just as agile (I wanted to say vigilant, but then I realize that it's not exactly the right adjective to describe time, although in a way or two, it could). Possibly even more.
...I must be blind to keep on doing this
'cause it would keep me up all night every time that I would reminisce...
I love SHINY songs.
Hot tea is good on a chilly day like this. Chilly days like this are nice, though.
I was reading my history book while doing the notes a while ago, and I read that, though not surprising, parents often neglected their children because they were likely to die. But they were likely to die because they were neglected. As the book puts it, children were in a "vicious circle." Pretty darn sad. Scratch that. Just plain cruel.
I love late-night and early-morning phone calls. Even though they obviously shorten my hours of sleep unless I go to bed early, which is pretty ridiculous to expect from me these days.
Deca competition is arriving. The date is getting closer and closer... In just about four weeks, I think that I'm going to have one of the most stressfully invigorating days of my life. And again a week after that. I really have to study.
I'm sure I mentioned somewhere sometime that I've lost interest in piano long ago. I never practice anymore, yet I haven't stopped lessons as I was expected to following this year's exam, which I did pass. Idiotically and somewhat impulsively, I told my teacher I'd go ahead and take the last exam, which, as I was told yesterday, most people do not do. Now that I've been registered to take it on March 1, 2008, I really don't understand why I chose to make the decision I did. I mean, I know that if I really tried, I could do it. But like I told my teacher just yesterday, I haven't tried for a long time already. Because I just don't care anymore. We have a recital this Sunday, and I really don't want to go. I haven't even memorized my song yet, which is bad, because the point of a recital is to memorize the song you're going to play. Undoubtedly, my teacher was highly disappointed. But I must go, because if not, I can't take the exam. So on Sunday, whether I do well or horribly (most likely the latter), I'm going to be miserable. My piano teacher also told me yesterday that I can't just keep losing interest in things, because as I get older, I'm going to realize that life just doesn't work that way. You can't keep dropping things and searching for new ones. Pretty soon, I'm going to have to settle with one thing or another one way or another. For the past year or so, I've always thought that I'll never be the kind to be satisfied with just one thing. And despite yesterday's talk, I still do think that. Maybe it's because I'm still young and still not exactly mature enough to truly understand that. But hopefully someday I will. And I'm guessing the sooner, the better. Furthermore, I said that I don't do well with commitments--I rarely stick to them. So, talking about marriage, how would I be able to stay with one person for the rest of my life? She said something that I have never and probably never would have thought of myself: You don't stay committed to the person (or the interest) -- you stay committed to yourself. I'll admit that for a while, I didn't see what sense that made. But I guess after a bit of time to reflect upon it, it does. Make sense, I mean. Wow, this is a long paragraph. But it's all good, because it's actually meaningful, compared to most of what I write these days.
The Things You Do
The things you do [boy] just makes me happy
It's what I love about you
You keep me smiling...
See everyday baby when we're talking on the phone
You make me laugh, you make me smile
Nothing can go wrong...
A little addendum to that extremely long paragraph previous: Toward the end of our conversation, I had an urge to ask my teacher, "Is it hard being an adult?" I know that for some of you, it may seem like a childish question, but hey, I just want to know. It's ironic, really. Children and adolescents want to grow up faster and be an adult already. Adults and elderly people want to become children again. But really, what's better than living today?
Today is yesterday's tomorrow and tomorrow's yesterday.
I don't really see how that relates to what I was just saying, but it's just something I wanted to say.
Sometimes people work really hard. And what for? If you're not enjoying yourself, if all that work puts you in despair, why do it? For a more secure future? But the future's never certain. You never know when anything is going to happen, or not going to happen. All of a sudden, everything you've worked so hard for can just...disappear. Then again, it's always nice to be sure. And it's always nice to know that you're in a state of stability.
I started out today's blog with the intent of just writing because I haven't written in so long. Or, well, about a week, but that's long enough, with all that's gone on in the past few days. About ten minutes into typing, I thought, "I should make this the longest blog I've done here so far." And I think I have.
I truly miss Sunday, December 23, 2007. It was just four days ago, but it feels like it's been a whole year already. The vivid details and imagery have faded; only the big ideas remain. The barbecue was incredibly...not necessarily fun, but I'll give it that anyway. It was probably the best day of the year for me. It was amazing, despite any little problems on the way and afterward. Simply, truly amazing. I didn't realize until about twenty hours later that it was my sweet sixteen "celebration". And I must say, it was sweet, indeed. There were three cakes! And of course, some fun-filled caking. I kept saying for two days that if I could, I would go back to that day and live it all over again. I'm pretty sure that this is the first time that I have ever wanted to go back to a day of the past.
Anyway, I'll spare all the details, because I've thought about it one time too many. And it's all too much to actually put into writing. Trust me. I've begun and was into three pages in on Microsoft Word, then gave up because I was barely even halfway done at that point. I know, I'm lazy.
So, it turns out that I do have a whole lot of homework to still do. And get done. Hopefully before next Sunday. Just last night, I finished one packet of notes for history. At this moment, I am almost halfway through with the next packet. Then I still have chemistry and...(ugh) math. Math. Eww. Yuck. Blech. Agh.
This year, none of the holidays felt like, well, "holidays." I suppose it could be because time has passed by so quickly that it's kind of hard to believe that it's already that day. Or whatever. In just a matter of four days (even less), a new year is to arrive. It'll be time to take down the 2007 calendars and put up the '08 ones. Time will be another year older, but still just as agile (I wanted to say vigilant, but then I realize that it's not exactly the right adjective to describe time, although in a way or two, it could). Possibly even more.
...I must be blind to keep on doing this
'cause it would keep me up all night every time that I would reminisce...
I love SHINY songs.
Hot tea is good on a chilly day like this. Chilly days like this are nice, though.
I was reading my history book while doing the notes a while ago, and I read that, though not surprising, parents often neglected their children because they were likely to die. But they were likely to die because they were neglected. As the book puts it, children were in a "vicious circle." Pretty darn sad. Scratch that. Just plain cruel.
I love late-night and early-morning phone calls. Even though they obviously shorten my hours of sleep unless I go to bed early, which is pretty ridiculous to expect from me these days.
Deca competition is arriving. The date is getting closer and closer... In just about four weeks, I think that I'm going to have one of the most stressfully invigorating days of my life. And again a week after that. I really have to study.
I'm sure I mentioned somewhere sometime that I've lost interest in piano long ago. I never practice anymore, yet I haven't stopped lessons as I was expected to following this year's exam, which I did pass. Idiotically and somewhat impulsively, I told my teacher I'd go ahead and take the last exam, which, as I was told yesterday, most people do not do. Now that I've been registered to take it on March 1, 2008, I really don't understand why I chose to make the decision I did. I mean, I know that if I really tried, I could do it. But like I told my teacher just yesterday, I haven't tried for a long time already. Because I just don't care anymore. We have a recital this Sunday, and I really don't want to go. I haven't even memorized my song yet, which is bad, because the point of a recital is to memorize the song you're going to play. Undoubtedly, my teacher was highly disappointed. But I must go, because if not, I can't take the exam. So on Sunday, whether I do well or horribly (most likely the latter), I'm going to be miserable. My piano teacher also told me yesterday that I can't just keep losing interest in things, because as I get older, I'm going to realize that life just doesn't work that way. You can't keep dropping things and searching for new ones. Pretty soon, I'm going to have to settle with one thing or another one way or another. For the past year or so, I've always thought that I'll never be the kind to be satisfied with just one thing. And despite yesterday's talk, I still do think that. Maybe it's because I'm still young and still not exactly mature enough to truly understand that. But hopefully someday I will. And I'm guessing the sooner, the better. Furthermore, I said that I don't do well with commitments--I rarely stick to them. So, talking about marriage, how would I be able to stay with one person for the rest of my life? She said something that I have never and probably never would have thought of myself: You don't stay committed to the person (or the interest) -- you stay committed to yourself. I'll admit that for a while, I didn't see what sense that made. But I guess after a bit of time to reflect upon it, it does. Make sense, I mean. Wow, this is a long paragraph. But it's all good, because it's actually meaningful, compared to most of what I write these days.
The Things You Do
The things you do [boy] just makes me happy
It's what I love about you
You keep me smiling...
See everyday baby when we're talking on the phone
You make me laugh, you make me smile
Nothing can go wrong...
A little addendum to that extremely long paragraph previous: Toward the end of our conversation, I had an urge to ask my teacher, "Is it hard being an adult?" I know that for some of you, it may seem like a childish question, but hey, I just want to know. It's ironic, really. Children and adolescents want to grow up faster and be an adult already. Adults and elderly people want to become children again. But really, what's better than living today?
Today is yesterday's tomorrow and tomorrow's yesterday.
I don't really see how that relates to what I was just saying, but it's just something I wanted to say.
Sometimes people work really hard. And what for? If you're not enjoying yourself, if all that work puts you in despair, why do it? For a more secure future? But the future's never certain. You never know when anything is going to happen, or not going to happen. All of a sudden, everything you've worked so hard for can just...disappear. Then again, it's always nice to be sure. And it's always nice to know that you're in a state of stability.
I started out today's blog with the intent of just writing because I haven't written in so long. Or, well, about a week, but that's long enough, with all that's gone on in the past few days. About ten minutes into typing, I thought, "I should make this the longest blog I've done here so far." And I think I have.
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