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Relatables

"Don't ever feel bad for making a decision that upsets other people. You are not responsible for their happiness. You are responsible for your happiness." - Isaiah Henkel
"Don't ever let someone make you feel like you're crazy for wanting what you deserve." - @thegoodquote
"You know you're winning when you're happy for no reason. When you don't attach your happiness to anything or anyone, you become free." - @thegoodquote
"Stop waiting for someone else to give your life meaning." - Jeff Hood
"One day someone will
mention their name
and you will feel
no bitterness
no hatred
no hurt in your heart
and that's how you know
you have found inner peace."
- M. Ballard
"Everything you want is on the other side of fear." - @electricflightcrew
"If you help everyone around you but can't help yourself, you've missed the point." - Lewis Howes
"I'm attracted to intelligence. Not the book smart …

Fears

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It seems that I go through a "quarter-life crisis" every three years or so. Accordingly, several years ago, I was going through one of these said crises, and had been making some life changes--for the better, of course.

For some reason, I had always been scared of dogs. I'd never been bitten by one--I was just so afraid of even coming close to any dog, big or small. One day during the aforementioned quarter-life crisis, I was standing in my cousins' house contemplating my recent changes and wondering what more to do. Suddenly, their chihuahua approached me and licked my foot, which initially grossed me out. Then I looked down at her, and in that moment I decided to simply not be afraid of dogs anymore. I inhaled deeply, bent down, and picked her up. I exclaimed, "Look! I'm holding Snowflake!" Nobody reacted because picking up Snowflake was such a normal thing to them, but to me, that was a moment of triumph, a moment of empowerment that I vividly recall…

Origins

People frequently ask me what "Remy Sea" means. Following is the thought process I underwent as I contemplated a "pen name" for this blog forever ago.
Just before freshman year of high school, I read This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen, one of my favorite YA authors. The main character's name is Remy Starr, which I thought was poetic, because she was the star of the story (e.g. the protagonist). I greatly admired her determination, independence, and grit. She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it. She doesn't let herself get attached to any one person, and she certainly doesn't let any one person tell her what to do. She became my favorite fictional character because she was the (slightly rebellious) 18-year-old I wanted to become.I didn't (still don't) know how to swim. Hence, the vastness and unpredictability of the ocean used to (sometimes still does) frighten me deeply. But during sophomore year, I learned to reframe vastness as opportuni…

As the World Turns

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Isn't it wondrous how easily people appear in our lives, and how much more easily some of the same people disappear from our lives? I've been thinking about this a great deal lately.

Let's say you've just started dating someone new. One month in, you introduce him/her to your friends. They might think, "Oh, where did s/he come from?" but they wouldn't actually ask; rather, they accept that someone new has entered your life, and subsequently someone new is entering their lives. Months or years later, you separate, and your former SO is no longer S, just O. It's as though s/he has been erased from the pages of history, never to be mentioned or seen again amongst you and your friends.

Alternatively, you're on a dating app. You match with somebody (yay!), you go through the obligatory initial conversation, you meet up, and you dig one another. With as little as a few hours of (virtual and face-to-face) conversation, you've let somebody new into yo…

Things I Wish I'd Known

I don't need to try to please everybody. As valiant and commendable of an effort as one can make, it is impossible to make everybody happy. While happiness can ensue via acts of service for others, I've come to realize that it also has to be actively pursued by asking myself what I want. A good relationship with my parents is just as important as a good relationship with anybody else. In middle school, I began to "rebel", and in doing so, I of course often upset my parents, and began to communicate with them less and less about my daily goings-on. Meanwhile, I began to develop deep relationships with friends and later romantic relationships with boy(s). A part of me thought that it was a trade-off--either relationship with my parents or relationships with my friends. And I made a choice. But really, there was truly no reason it couldn't have been both. Not every relationship (the general sense of the word, not just the romantic sense) needs to stay a relationship…

Reflections

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It has been almost two years since I began my journey of personal development. It’s been long, and it’s been a long time coming, though “development” connotes an ongoing process, one that doesn’t end. As my colleague once wisely stated, “Mastery is a direction, not a destination.” While it would be easy for me to readily negate everything that I’ve done and the progress I’ve made by saying, “Meh, I haven’t accomplished that much,” that would be giving myself too little credit. I have reevaluated and reflected a great deal, and admittedly, I also have never cried so much and so often before this whole process began—sometimes good and happy tears, other times--simply sad tears. Here are a handful of things I have learned. This list is not meant to impart wisdom or evoke sympathy. I merely want to share some of the recurring themes that go on in my head since my journey began as well as some of the recurring themes that go on in my head for the journey that continues.
Everybody has their…

Relate and Resonate

"I told her I was lost in this world,
and she smiled,
because she was too,
we were all lost somehow,
but we didn't care, we had, in the chaos,
found each other."
- Atticus
"Don't give up now,
chances are
your best kiss
your hardest laugh
and your greatest day
are still yet to come."
- Atticus 
"Self-love is so important; I don't want to be in my elderly years, flicking through old pictures of myself and at the last moment realising how beautiful I truly was."
- Meggan Roxanne
"Give people time. Give people space. Don't beg anyone to stay. Let them roam. What's meant for you will always be yours."
- Reyna Biddy
"Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have."
- TheGoodQuote