Posts

Origins

People frequently ask me what "Remy Sea" means. Following is the thought process I underwent as I contemplated a "pen name" for this blog forever ago.
Just before freshman year of high school, I read This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen, one of my favorite YA authors. The main character's name is Remy Starr, which I thought was poetic, because she was the star of the story (e.g. the protagonist). I greatly admired her determination, independence, and grit. She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it. She doesn't let herself get attached to any one person, and she certainly doesn't let any one person tell her what to do. She became my favorite fictional character because she was the (slightly rebellious) 18-year-old I wanted to become.I didn't (still don't) know how to swim. Hence, the vastness and unpredictability of the ocean used to (sometimes still does) frighten me deeply. But during sophomore year, I learned to reframe vastness as opportuni…

As the World Turns

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Isn't it wondrous how easily people appear in our lives, and how much more easily some of the same people disappear from our lives? I've been thinking about this a great deal lately.

Let's say you've just started dating someone new. One month in, you introduce him/her to your friends. They might think, "Oh, where did s/he come from?" but they wouldn't actually ask; rather, they accept that someone new has entered your life, and subsequently someone new is entering their lives. Months or years later, you separate, and your former SO is no longer S, just O. It's as though s/he has been erased from the pages of history, never to be mentioned or seen again amongst you and your friends.

Alternatively, you're on a dating app. You match with somebody (yay!), you go through the obligatory initial conversation, you meet up, and you dig one another. With as little as a few hours of (virtual and face-to-face) conversation, you've let somebody new into yo…

Things I Wish I'd Known

I don't need to try to please everybody. As valiant and commendable of an effort as one can make, it is impossible to make everybody happy. While happiness can ensue via acts of service for others, I've come to realize that it also has to be actively pursued by asking myself what I want. A good relationship with my parents is just as important as a good relationship with anybody else. In middle school, I began to "rebel", and in doing so, I of course often upset my parents, and began to communicate with them less and less about my daily goings-on. Meanwhile, I began to develop deep relationships with friends and later romantic relationships with boy(s). A part of me thought that it was a trade-off--either relationship with my parents or relationships with my friends. And I made a choice. But really, there was truly no reason it couldn't have been both. Not every relationship (the general sense of the word, not just the romantic sense) needs to stay a relationship…

Reflections

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It has been almost two years since I began my journey of personal development. It’s been long, and it’s been a long time coming, though “development” connotes an ongoing process, one that doesn’t end. As my colleague once wisely stated, “Mastery is a direction, not a destination.” While it would be easy for me to readily negate everything that I’ve done and the progress I’ve made by saying, “Meh, I haven’t accomplished that much,” that would be giving myself too little credit. I have reevaluated and reflected a great deal, and admittedly, I also have never cried so much and so often before this whole process began—sometimes good and happy tears, other times--simply sad tears. Here are a handful of things I have learned. This list is not meant to impart wisdom or evoke sympathy. I merely want to share some of the recurring themes that go on in my head since my journey began as well as some of the recurring themes that go on in my head for the journey that continues.
Everybody has their…

Relate and Resonate

"I told her I was lost in this world,
and she smiled,
because she was too,
we were all lost somehow,
but we didn't care, we had, in the chaos,
found each other."
- Atticus
"Don't give up now,
chances are
your best kiss
your hardest laugh
and your greatest day
are still yet to come."
- Atticus 
"Self-love is so important; I don't want to be in my elderly years, flicking through old pictures of myself and at the last moment realising how beautiful I truly was."
- Meggan Roxanne
"Give people time. Give people space. Don't beg anyone to stay. Let them roam. What's meant for you will always be yours."
- Reyna Biddy
"Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have."
- TheGoodQuote

Vulnerable

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Vulnerable. A word that I rarely ever used, especially to describe my state of mind or being, prior to my current job. One of the main things we do is teach and help leaders develop the eight characteristics of greatness, and vulnerability is one.

In years prior, I had periodically seen and characterized myself as "a sensitive soul". Nonetheless, I would hide it behind the jokes and the laughter. It was really only when I watched sad scenes in movies or shows that I showed my sensitive side. Or when I would occasionally get upset about something that someone said about me.

But in the past year of learning about the world and learning about myself (not mutually exclusive), I've realized that it's okay to be vulnerable and to show vulnerability. It's hard, especially when we grow up being told to not show vulnerability, which is a sign of weakness, and that we might be stepped on by doing so...among other things. I don't know how it works for our clients or for…

Joke

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Sherry: "I've typed it so many times, but I still don't know how to spell 'Hors d'Oeuvres.'" Me: "It's spelled a-p-p-e-t-i-z-e-r."