If you're not afraid...

...Then give me your heart.

I haven't done this is in so long. I have been almost overwhelmingly busy with schoolwork, for the first time ever in my academic career. Not surprisingly, I haven't been getting a sufficient amount of sleep, either. Except last night. I slept around midnight and woke up this morning at 11:20. Hallelujah.

"Cold" weather has actually begun. Joy to that. I was happy yesterday because the weather was so enjoyable. For me, anyway.

So many things have happened, yet it all seems so... boring to talk about now, after so long.

I still hate my classes, especially fourth through sixth periods. It's always between those classes that I come up with mean comments and ideas to say to people but never actually say them. Undoubtedly, I find those classes highly detestable. Still.

One of my classes, however, has become my haven, almost. I am "deca-cated"... It seems that all I've been doing has been all for Deca. Although I never really study until there's an upcoming quiz. Nonetheless, I see that class as my "third place" now.

It is rather cold at this moment... My fingers won't move as quickly as they usually do. Haha.

I cannot wait until Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen comes out.

Homecoming is on the 27th. I guess I'm not going, seeing as how I haven't even turned in the forms yet, and the ultimate last to day do so is the 12th, which is Friday. I want to go, but I don't see the point anymore.

I got a phone call from one of my friends at 11-something last night. I was almost halfway asleep, but I didn't mind. We talked for almost an hour, which was why I ended up sleeping around midnight, as previously mentioned. Anyway, it's nice to talk to people who you don't see on a regular basis, just to "maintain" the friendship. It really is.

I've "lost" four good friends in the past year. And "school" is not an excuse. I mean, if you really wanted to keep up your friendship with someone, you'd make time and keep in touch with them no matter what, right? So I suppose it's not just their fault, but mine also. The "work" should go both ways, should it not? If there was even an iota of effort, the friendship would have lasted just a bit longer. What I have long since realized is that it's always easier to remain friends with those who are close to you. As in, physically. You see them everyday, so you can talk to them. You don't have to feel like it's a nuisance to call or e-mail or whatever. It's face to face. Furthermore, if long-distance friendships don't last, how can long-distance relationships?

I'm just expressing my views as a partial cynic here.

I feel guilty for not having written for such a long time. Here or my personal journal.

Which reminds me, when I went to Office Depot several weeks ago, I actually found college-ruled composition books. I was SUPER EXCITED. They were only 99 cents each, and I just wanted to grab all of them off the shelf. That was my id. My superego (or was it ego?), however, kicked in, and I only got 5. But that was all good.

I've been such a hater these days.

Surprisingly, one of my friends who moved to another state in seventh grade who, admirably, still keeps in touch with his friends from LA (Los Angeles, not Louisiana), told me yesterday that according to the people he asked, I'm "quite popular...with guys and with girls too" at school these days.

I was almost shocked to read that instant message. I was thinking, "Wow, people actually like it when I'm mean?"

Actually, I haven't been mean; I've just been thinking mean.

If you know what I mean.

Or whatever.

I have finished Lord of the Flies for English class. It's a good book. Honestly, I would never have picked up that book if it wasn't required for class. But as clichedly (probably not a word) said and frequently proven, don't judge a book by its cover. (Or by its title, in my case.) I would have cried at two points in the book if people hadn't ruined it for me. I HATE JACK MERRIDEW, by the way. Yeah, it's just fiction, but hey, it's a book.

You know, I wonder if people ever "lie" in these blogs.

Or...this wonder just gave me an idea, one that I probably won't ever do. Unless I have an abundance of time out of nowhere.

Okay, I don't know how to word this thought, so forget it.