Drama for Your Momma
So much conflict has exploded right in front of me in the last two or three days. It is insane. I mean, there I was, just working and coming home and doing the usual nothing, and after one or two days of different activities, I get all this drama in my face! I haven't had to deal with so much PERSONAL "drama" in such a long time that at some moments, I pause in the midst of the accusations and tears to ask myself if this is really my reality as of present. Despite the plenty of tears I have shed in the past 48 hours and the plenty of times I have questioned what I have gotten myself into, I am okay now. Just like I've always known I would always be. There are two ways of looking at this:
In seventh grade, I gave advice to many of my friends. Relationship advice, school advice, family advice... I couldn't ever say I was an expert in any of those areas, but I think that most of the time, I knew just what to say to make them think about what they're saying and what's really happening, and then just what to say to help them calm down and reflect on the goodness of life. That was back when I wanted to be a psychologist, because that's what my friends thought I would be good at.
But it's so fascinating to see how things have totally turned around for me. Rarely anymore do my friends ask me, of all people, for advice. Because nowadays, I'm the one who is constantly prancing to and from, back and forth between people, practically pleading and nagging for advice for and answers to my most personal matters. Not that I mind doing that, really, because from time to time, I actually learn about myself, and I gain a confidant.
The thing about doing that, though, is that I have to be careful. Yes, I can be unbelievably careless in terms of that when I am caught up in my own problems. I forget that I shouldn't be saying this or that to so and so, that I might be hurting a third party's feelings or jeopardizing one of the best things in one of, if not both, of their lives. I should be more considerate, because even while I have my own problems, it isn't like nobody else has their problems, too. And just because I am not happy doesn't mean that nobody else can be. I can't possibly be that selfish. That simply is not the way to live happily and healthily.
I don't know how many times I have said this, but I feel the urge to re-emphasize that talking truly does work wonders. Doesn't really matter if you're mumbling about your sorrows, ranting about your mishaps, going back and forth about your disagreements. With the exchange and spew of words comes comfort. But again, just keep in mind other peoples' feelings in the meantime.
Now heading back to the beginning of it all.
Yes. I tell myself that things will be fine and dandy soon enough. I remind myself that it's all good, because if it isn't all good now, it will just be all better in the future.
On a much different but related note, I've been crying because of my romantic life. I thought I knew where we were before Sunday. I thought I knew where we were after last night. But where are we now? Undoubtedly, it is certainly weird to wake up and immediately think to myself, "Wow, I'm single." Contrastingly, I usually wake up thinking, "Darn it. I have work today." Undoubtedly, it must be weird for you, too. And like I've told you, I understand. So what now? I can tell you where I would like us to be, but that wouldn't behoove either of us if you don't agree. You can tell me where you would like us to be, but that wouldn't behoove either of us if you don't know.
Following is an "excerpt" of one of the AIM conversations I had at work today (don't judge, my work is good):
me: why can't love just come without the heartbreak?
confidant: cuz that'd be too easy
me: do you think if that aspect were easy, some other aspect would be difficult?
c: yes
c: life's a struggle
I hope things work out well for us soon, because weird is just plain weird. Like I said earlier, you know what I want. What do you want? At the very least, you know how I feel and I know how you feel.
- It's all a part of God's plan. He presents everybody with obstacles to help us learn and to help us grow and to develop our faith in Him. Yeah, it's difficult, discouraging, demanding, but each step has its respectively meaningful purpose. And every step we conquer only strengthens faith, passion, trust.
- It's all of a part of life. Drama, conflict, obstacles--who in the world does none of this happen to? Even the polar bears are having their issues with the climate! Goodness. In any case, it's all in our heads. We tend to make things seem worse than they tangibly are, and we overreact. But take a deep breath and calm down, stay confident and take big strides. Battle the troubles and remind yourself that everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. I can't even begin to tell you how true that is.
In seventh grade, I gave advice to many of my friends. Relationship advice, school advice, family advice... I couldn't ever say I was an expert in any of those areas, but I think that most of the time, I knew just what to say to make them think about what they're saying and what's really happening, and then just what to say to help them calm down and reflect on the goodness of life. That was back when I wanted to be a psychologist, because that's what my friends thought I would be good at.
But it's so fascinating to see how things have totally turned around for me. Rarely anymore do my friends ask me, of all people, for advice. Because nowadays, I'm the one who is constantly prancing to and from, back and forth between people, practically pleading and nagging for advice for and answers to my most personal matters. Not that I mind doing that, really, because from time to time, I actually learn about myself, and I gain a confidant.
The thing about doing that, though, is that I have to be careful. Yes, I can be unbelievably careless in terms of that when I am caught up in my own problems. I forget that I shouldn't be saying this or that to so and so, that I might be hurting a third party's feelings or jeopardizing one of the best things in one of, if not both, of their lives. I should be more considerate, because even while I have my own problems, it isn't like nobody else has their problems, too. And just because I am not happy doesn't mean that nobody else can be. I can't possibly be that selfish. That simply is not the way to live happily and healthily.
I don't know how many times I have said this, but I feel the urge to re-emphasize that talking truly does work wonders. Doesn't really matter if you're mumbling about your sorrows, ranting about your mishaps, going back and forth about your disagreements. With the exchange and spew of words comes comfort. But again, just keep in mind other peoples' feelings in the meantime.
Now heading back to the beginning of it all.
Yes. I tell myself that things will be fine and dandy soon enough. I remind myself that it's all good, because if it isn't all good now, it will just be all better in the future.
On a much different but related note, I've been crying because of my romantic life. I thought I knew where we were before Sunday. I thought I knew where we were after last night. But where are we now? Undoubtedly, it is certainly weird to wake up and immediately think to myself, "Wow, I'm single." Contrastingly, I usually wake up thinking, "Darn it. I have work today." Undoubtedly, it must be weird for you, too. And like I've told you, I understand. So what now? I can tell you where I would like us to be, but that wouldn't behoove either of us if you don't agree. You can tell me where you would like us to be, but that wouldn't behoove either of us if you don't know.
Following is an "excerpt" of one of the AIM conversations I had at work today (don't judge, my work is good):
me: why can't love just come without the heartbreak?
confidant: cuz that'd be too easy
me: do you think if that aspect were easy, some other aspect would be difficult?
c: yes
c: life's a struggle
I hope things work out well for us soon, because weird is just plain weird. Like I said earlier, you know what I want. What do you want? At the very least, you know how I feel and I know how you feel.
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