Antisocial

This is the second night of UCLA's freshman orientation, and I started my series of incessant yawns about two hours ago. In other words, I am immensely sleepy, and here I am, on the second night of orientation, sitting alone in my assigned dorm room, blogging. There's nothing even much to do. Today was merely about deciding what classes we want to take for the fall, but it's not even until tomorrow that we sign up for them. And who knows if we will get them after all? Goodness gracious.

But yeah. I am exhausted. Quite frankly, I haven't particularly cared to make any new friends over the past two days, because I'll just see them again in just about a month. And if I don't, well, it doesn't really matter, because the population here is so overwhelmingly large anyhow. If I sound unhappy or nonchalant, it's because I really am. I didn't want to come here to begin with, and now I want to go home. I don't think I should be feeling this way, because it's UCLA, of all places, of all schools. People dream of coming here, of getting accepted here, and here I am, unhappy. What is wrong with me?

It's okay, though. I know I'll be happy here soon enough. If anything, I could always try to transfer to UCSD or even BU. If anything. Sigh.
However, I can't say that I haven't enjoyed this at all. In the past 48 hours, two events have excited me:
  • last night's cabaret show by the orientation counselors, where I learned plenty of new USC jokes
  • this afternoon's English department (major/ minor) meeting for the declared English majors (five of the eleven of us were Asian, amusingly); I really just wanted to take all the classes right away
Oh, and the food at Covel Commons Dining Hall is excellent--that's a nice aspect.

I used to say that I never regretted anything. Yep, past tense. Right now, I'm nearly regretting making my college decision based on what others said to me instead of what my heart asked of me. But like I said, it can't be bad. If I'm here, I was somehow meant to be here, so I'll make something good of my UCLA career and life.

I'll be social.
Eventually.
After I get a good night's sleep and wake up at 7:30 a.m. tomorrow...

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