Days of My Life

I lied. It isn't nothing. It's many things that make me think it's one big thing. Argh, I have been feeling down for a few days, even though I probably haven't showed it until today. This is so uncharacteristic of me that I am frustrated with myself for feeling this way. And for having such a negative mentality. I think I need a shoulder to lean on. But I shall try my best to think positively! And try my best to focus on what's important over the next week or two: finals and Deca competition. These two events will essentially serve to finalize my high school career. It sounds so official... But I suppose that official is what it is supposed to be. Last night, I listened to a plethora of Claude Kelly's songs on YouTube (to be politically correct, as with MySpace). Now I continue that escapade, the escapade in which all I do are sit and listen while looking for something to do online. Claude Kelly's songs tend to make me feel better. Anyone willing to make me

I have given up so much for this Time, effort, priorities Thinking that I would finally come across Something long-lasting, something good But like every other time, Despite how much I have put forth for it And how little I have put forth for myself, I end up with nothing after all. Nothing at all, after all. Isn't it sad? From time to time, I realize that it is indeed a bit sad--or immensely disappointing, at least--to end up with nothing at all after you have worked so hard for something you thought was going to be tremendous for you. And it is even more painstaking when you witness somebody else getting what you wanted, especially if that person has not worked nearly as hard as you have. Seemingly, anyway. Ugh, I feel so very frustrated. Even "Days of Our Lives" could not fix my frustration these past few days. And you all know how much I enjoy my soap opera. Deca has been one of the major things on my mind. I can tell you, though, that today's speech/interview/ess

I know when I don't deserve to be treated a certain way. And I don't deserve this right now.

Honestly, I feel at a loss for words right now. Aside from the ones I'm typing, obviously. I don't know what I want to talk about tonight, but I'll just go with the flow, as I usually do (to no avail). Hmm... yeah. Still don't know what to say. Whatever I have to "complain" about, I have already done multiple times, so I don't feel the need to bore you as well as myself with those horrid events and plans. I'm at 3410 for the weekend, braced with homework and everything. Maybe I should go pierce my ears tomorrow, just because I don't feel like myself right now. I mean, rarely am I at a real loss for words when I actually want to blog. Rarely are there days or nights I don't feel like really conversing with anybody. My cold has progressed to a higher level, and I am not enjoying it one bit. I can barely breathe through my nose without sounding like a blast of air conditioning every so often. And I have to cough several times per hour. Ahh, geez.

It has been raining the entire animal kingdom for the past two or three days. Every time this happens, I can't help but point out how uncharacteristic this weather is for Los Angeles, when it only gets progressively, increasingly characteristic each time. I suppose I should get used to this incessant rainfall if I do attend school on the East Coast next year. Geez, I hope I don't end up hating it... This morning, I woke up at the usual time, feeling considerably worse than I did yesterday, so I decided to stay home. I slept until 10:28 a.m. and got up to eat porridge... then read three chapters of A Tale of Two Cities , which I should have finished a long, long time ago. Around 12:20 p.m., the electricity stopped, and half an hour later, it came back on, almost just on time for me to watch my soap operas. Yay! Now I'm back to doing nothing. I guess when S gets home and she starts doing homework, I'll continue reading the book or start reading some guides. Haha. So it lo

The week has barely begun (I considered today Sunday) and I am already stressing out about this week in addition to the following two or three. On top of that, I am getting sick. My throat is currently drier than desert sand, and my voice is starting to become raspberries. Ahhh. tomorrow: AP Bio test, art project Wednesday: bio lab Thursday: after school--run? Deca? Geez, I don't even know how to list these things anymore. All I know is how busy I am, even when I'm not doing anything. Or maybe it's particularly when I'm not doing anything. I still need to submit FAFSA and other financial aid documents to all TEN schools I applied to. And make sure I haven't missed anything. And SLEEP so I don't become so sick that I appall my interviewers next week. I had always assumed that the months following college applications would be easy. But they are so enormously difficult. For me, anyway. Ahh. Happiness is a state of mind. I need to keep happiness in mind for these u

I miss my bed. I am extremely sleepy and even more tired. Since 6 p.m. I have been feeling cold but haven't done anything about it. Oh, except shower about twenty minutes ago. It's not 12:34 a.m. My nose has been feeling congested for almost the whole day, and I felt a headache coming on before I showered. Why, oh why? :( Today, Science Bowl scrimmage was hilariously interesting. In the beginning, anyway. To make a potentially long story short, it was as casual as any academic (practice) competition can get. And it was fun until such beastly schools as GHCHS and VHS took over and dominated. Then we just left. Haha. Because I had to wake up early for this event, I slept only five hours last night, the shortage of which probably contributed to my current state. After Science Bowl, I came home and watched Thursday and yesterday's episodes of "Days of Our Lives". I hope that it won't stop airing for a long time because it really is my favorite soap opera. "Ge

And to think that I felt so miserably tired for the whole day. I had an unexpectedly wonderful night that was catalyzed by the final discovery of three of my new favorite songs! Ahh, I love music. And then I had an hour and a half conversation with HL. Followed by an hour of ROCK, then half an hour of piano after I got home. I absolutely adore long, meaningful conversations, particularly those in person and in a nice environment. Which was exactly what I had tonight. It feels incredible to spew all my thoughts out, knowing that my confidant is trustworthy and all that good stuff a true friend should be. But I really do feel bad sometimes, though, because I frequently dump my dilemmas on him, whereas he barely does so to me. But I suppose that if he's okay with it, then so am I. I do love to hear other people's life stories, though. They're so good to learn from or even just to listen to. Until earlier, I had almost forgotten the pure bliss playing the piano can evoke. I sta

I am finally watching a Lakers game at home. And my sweethearts are playing! In case you're totally oblivious, my sweethearts are Jordan Farmar and Shannon Brown. :) Since I got home around 3:30, I have done nothing but waste time. I watched yesterday's episode of "Days of Our Lives" online (and shall watch today's tomorrow), looked at scholarships, and then started watching the Lakers game. I have to do Spanish homework and another one of last night's Lit assignments. And read for Deca. I hope that when I stay for Deca tomorrow, nobody asks me how much more I have to review, because I have not read anything yet. Yes, I do feel guilty about that. Darn it. Spanish class today was... funny. Well, our homework assignment is. After having finished lecturing about palabras compuestas , Ms. G told us to write the 1-200 in words. She told us she knows that very few students actually know how to do that without consulting some kind of source. And she was right. People

Surprisingly, today felt like any other Monday, filled with exhausting "can it be weekend yet?" wishfulness. Also surprisingly, though, it passed by quite quickly... Nothing out of the ordinary occurred today, other than the fact that Ms. G actually left us with a substitute for Spanish today. Something about something in the hospital--not like I would have completely understood. She also left us with an essay assignment! Two hundred-forty words on what we did over winter break. Well, that ought to be fun... Later. Ha. I am so sleepy and so unaccustomed to waking up at 5:30 a.m. That is one thing I definitely will not miss after high school. I mean, who would really willingly wake up at 5:30 a.m. to do anything anyway? Even the sun would not! I miss my bed, though. So in Spanish class today, everybody just socialized or slept. I did the former just because I can't sleep in there like I used to, for some reason. Those of us in the back corner talked about books and English

yet she still displays signs of weakness. Who doesn't? "Why don't we go run at Lincoln Park?" "Because those ice cream carts DOUGHn't have chips." said while drinking cold water to remedy Hot Cheetos. D, S, and I have been out on a junk food escapade since 2:30 p.m. and it is currently 3:52 p.m. So far, we have gone to McDonalds for strawberry sundaes, Carls Jr for large fries and soda, and the donut (doughnut) shop for donut (doughnut) holes. Oh, and the ice cream truck that D ran after for Hot Cheetos. Calories and fat abound... Hopefully we will run at Lincoln Park or something later, though. I already feel the weight creeping around my hips! Or something like that. I really should be working on my research paper on the alternation of generations right now... Geez, it's so frustrating. I don't even know when it is due! Well, whether or not I know its deadline, I just don't want to have to do it. Dagnabbit. We also should take down the Chri

-commercials and advertisements didn't "stretch the truth" -profanity did not exist -violence disappeared -discrimination and prejudice didn't separate everybody so easily -the simplest things did not make people mad at each other -competition were only for economic stimulation -natural occurrences (e.g. rain, wind) weren't so destructive -movies were actually created in the locations the stories happen -the people you trust most (e.g. doctors) didn't try to swindle your money -money weren't the root of most evil -evil, although it can never disappear for purposes of balance, weren't so strong -people could overcome temptation and abovementioned evil -everybody got along -gasoline prices went back down to 89 cents a gallon... at most -enough people cared about the environment -education were truly free -freedom were pure -anything were pure -honesty and compassion were universal traits -people were sincere to and with one another -friendships lasted a

It's only another year. It's not like things are going to happen any differently, not like people are going to really change, not like a new world has begun. You post a new calendar, erase or cross out your mis-written dates for a few weeks, and then you'll forget that only (insert amount of time here) ago, you "celebrated" a new year. Let's look at it this way. Why celebrate only the night of December 31st or the day of January 1st? Why not celebrate, say, September 30th for the arrival of October 1st? I guess I'm just a lot less excited about every "new year" than everybody else is. But you know what? Happy new year anyway! (By the way, why do people pluralize year when it's one singular new year? You can't be living two years simultaneously unless you're on pills or something.) Yesterday, I finished the majority of my college application stuff. It's funny that I submitted the supplements so nonchalantly and even haphazardly in