Urges

I know I'm sleepy, and I know I can fall asleep in just moments if I just lie down in bed. But I have an urge to just blog even though I did it last night and did some writing (on Yelp) earlier. Urges. How can you deny what the heart wants? What are the consequences of that?

I have plenty of urges, plenty of cravings. Does this mean I'm impulsive and gluttonous? However, I deny most of those urges and cravings, often with much afterthought and analysis. Does this mean I'm reasonable yet conflicted? For the past few months, I've been conflicted, and I've said it here a number of times. Urge and reason collaborate to create conflict within me, and it's absolutely killing me. Talking hasn't help. Writing hasn't helped. Time hasn't been enough. I hope England will be enough to simply push me over this hump and rid my mind of all conflict and debate. I hope my only urges will be to read Shakespeare, stay awake in class, and have plenty of food and fun. I need this vacation so much.

If all goes well during this program, I'm definitely going to sign up to become a spokesperson of sorts for the International Education Office at school. Considering that I have decided to stay for my fourth year of college, I have even looked at and considered two more travel study/ study abroad programs. So very glad I am for last year's Shanghai experience and for all of these traveling and learning experiences the IEO provides. It's become one of the top reasons I love college, and believe me, I don't have many. Haha.

Speaking of getting cultured... Tonight, my coworker and I attended the "War Horse" show at the Ahmanson Theater (courtesy of our boss). Even though I was falling asleep during parts of the first half (only because I was sleepy, not because it was boring), I truly enjoyed and appreciated the entire show for its performative as well as technical aspects. The way they were able to effectively depict battle scenes, farm landscape, and travel hardships all on one stage was simply amazing. There were gunshots, and there were puns. There were tear-jerking moments and heart-wrenching moments. I don't know how much longer it will be showing, but if you like war and horses (and British/ German accents), I'm sure you'd like this. I can't wait to further culture myself in the next few months.

With all that said, I'm now going to bed. But at last...

Pandora song of the night:

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