Best You Never Had
because I told you you'd live to regret
and now I don't want to make you feel bad...
It is currently 9:58 A.M. and I simply felt like blogging especially because I hadn't done so in what feels like what must have been a year or two. Regardless, this doesn't feel unfamiliar at all.
Today's plans:
I had planned on attending a Dartmouth College information session from 1 P.M. to 3 P.M., but I realized I didn't even want to from the beginning, so I will just do my murderous AP Biology notebook and go watch a "Where the Wild Things Are" or something. Who knows? We have exam #4 on Monday, and I have been miserably failing every other one (33, 33, 28), which indicates that I need to find a new, more effective method of doing things for that class! Anyway, we'll see what happens or doesn't today.
I am excited to run tomorrow (practice for SRLA) at the Historic Park. It'll probably be five or six miles, since the next run, which is next Sunday, lasts 10K. Lately, I've actually been feeling extremely guilty for not exercising. I miss the gym! Summertime needs to come quickly so I can work out and get "buff" again! Haha.
What have I been up to lately? Hmm, well, this is one occasion that I cannot simplify by responding with "Nothing." Because everything has been going on. I'm on the "preliminary" team for Deca, which means that at this point, I actually have a chance to compete this year, which would be nice since it is my last year... Scrimmage is on the 14th, which means I should start studying one of these days. Aside from that, college matters essentially make up the bulk of my concerns and schedule nowadays. Quite frankly, I'm afraid because I no longer know what I want. Often before, I exclaimed, "Princeton University!" But now that's just a minute thought in the back of my mind. It seems that the more time that passes, the less certain I am about this (inclusive of other colleges and circumstances). And again, I am extremely afraid: afraid to receive acceptance letters and blindly choose one, go there, and be unsatisfied, or worse, unhappy. Perhaps this suggests that I'm not as ready as I had once believed I was to spread my wings so widely and fly so far. But you know what? I'm going to apply all down the West Coast as well as the East Coast anyway and just hope that in the matter of a few months, I will have finally decided what I truly want, what can make me happy, and where I fit in.
At least I know a few things for sure. 1) I am going to major in English and communications/ journalism and write for the rest of my life. 2) I still do not wish to attend USC, despite its excellent Annenberg school of communications open to undergraduate students. 3) ...I suppose that's about all I know for certain at this moment.
Lately, I have realized how absolutely nice it is to come home right after school and be able to watch television or sit around without feeling guilty about not doing homework. Yes, occasionally (typically once a week) I do have little to no homework to do right away. Those are days I'm most relaxed and most content.
I've actually resumed going to LA's BEST. Well, for the past two weeks, anyway, haha. Immensely crowded it is now, with an influx of volunteers, most of whom receive their hours by standing around or hanging out amongst themselves, as well as a few more staff members, most of whom do not even seem to like children. In any case, I felt compelled to go again since I almost did not go at all last year. Plus, I don't particularly like to immediately start on homework on Friday afternoons. So, yes, LA's BEST.
Which reminds me that I have to go to the library to return an almost overdue book and pick up an overdue hold... Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike partaking in paying the librarians' salaries?
It is currently 10:22 A.M., but I shall continue for another six minutes in order to have allowed myself half an hour of free writing for today... for however long until I next blog.
I am listening to "Stacey's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne. Remember all those years ago when this song was enormously popular? Ah, remember all those years ago when the Backstreet Boys and N'Sync were enormously rivalrous and therefore enormously popular? How tastes change...
So if you haven't already noticed, uncertainty kills me. Well, not necessarily that dramatically, but I just dislike uncertainty and vague answers when I can so easily have a "yes" or "no", you know? I dislike being kept guessing over a long period of time, because it just makes current as well as future decision-making that much more difficult because it has to revolve around the "response". Hence, it's difficult to even want something over something else or vice versa. sigh.
Anyway, time is up, and I shall now do my biology notebook.
Enjoy your days, people.
I paint objects as I think them, not as I see them.
-Pablo Picasso
and now I don't want to make you feel bad...
It is currently 9:58 A.M. and I simply felt like blogging especially because I hadn't done so in what feels like what must have been a year or two. Regardless, this doesn't feel unfamiliar at all.
Today's plans:
I had planned on attending a Dartmouth College information session from 1 P.M. to 3 P.M., but I realized I didn't even want to from the beginning, so I will just do my murderous AP Biology notebook and go watch a "Where the Wild Things Are" or something. Who knows? We have exam #4 on Monday, and I have been miserably failing every other one (33, 33, 28), which indicates that I need to find a new, more effective method of doing things for that class! Anyway, we'll see what happens or doesn't today.
I am excited to run tomorrow (practice for SRLA) at the Historic Park. It'll probably be five or six miles, since the next run, which is next Sunday, lasts 10K. Lately, I've actually been feeling extremely guilty for not exercising. I miss the gym! Summertime needs to come quickly so I can work out and get "buff" again! Haha.
What have I been up to lately? Hmm, well, this is one occasion that I cannot simplify by responding with "Nothing." Because everything has been going on. I'm on the "preliminary" team for Deca, which means that at this point, I actually have a chance to compete this year, which would be nice since it is my last year... Scrimmage is on the 14th, which means I should start studying one of these days. Aside from that, college matters essentially make up the bulk of my concerns and schedule nowadays. Quite frankly, I'm afraid because I no longer know what I want. Often before, I exclaimed, "Princeton University!" But now that's just a minute thought in the back of my mind. It seems that the more time that passes, the less certain I am about this (inclusive of other colleges and circumstances). And again, I am extremely afraid: afraid to receive acceptance letters and blindly choose one, go there, and be unsatisfied, or worse, unhappy. Perhaps this suggests that I'm not as ready as I had once believed I was to spread my wings so widely and fly so far. But you know what? I'm going to apply all down the West Coast as well as the East Coast anyway and just hope that in the matter of a few months, I will have finally decided what I truly want, what can make me happy, and where I fit in.
At least I know a few things for sure. 1) I am going to major in English and communications/ journalism and write for the rest of my life. 2) I still do not wish to attend USC, despite its excellent Annenberg school of communications open to undergraduate students. 3) ...I suppose that's about all I know for certain at this moment.
Lately, I have realized how absolutely nice it is to come home right after school and be able to watch television or sit around without feeling guilty about not doing homework. Yes, occasionally (typically once a week) I do have little to no homework to do right away. Those are days I'm most relaxed and most content.
I've actually resumed going to LA's BEST. Well, for the past two weeks, anyway, haha. Immensely crowded it is now, with an influx of volunteers, most of whom receive their hours by standing around or hanging out amongst themselves, as well as a few more staff members, most of whom do not even seem to like children. In any case, I felt compelled to go again since I almost did not go at all last year. Plus, I don't particularly like to immediately start on homework on Friday afternoons. So, yes, LA's BEST.
Which reminds me that I have to go to the library to return an almost overdue book and pick up an overdue hold... Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike partaking in paying the librarians' salaries?
It is currently 10:22 A.M., but I shall continue for another six minutes in order to have allowed myself half an hour of free writing for today... for however long until I next blog.
I am listening to "Stacey's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne. Remember all those years ago when this song was enormously popular? Ah, remember all those years ago when the Backstreet Boys and N'Sync were enormously rivalrous and therefore enormously popular? How tastes change...
So if you haven't already noticed, uncertainty kills me. Well, not necessarily that dramatically, but I just dislike uncertainty and vague answers when I can so easily have a "yes" or "no", you know? I dislike being kept guessing over a long period of time, because it just makes current as well as future decision-making that much more difficult because it has to revolve around the "response". Hence, it's difficult to even want something over something else or vice versa. sigh.
Anyway, time is up, and I shall now do my biology notebook.
Enjoy your days, people.
I paint objects as I think them, not as I see them.
-Pablo Picasso
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