Hi and Goodbye
Everyday you took my breath away
But now there's no reply
Only hi, goodbye
Like a dream come true
When it was me and you
Now I just don't know why
We say hi and
Hi and goodbye
(No, I didn't write that.)
I feel so upset and unsettled that I just have to write. Something, anything. Well, not homework, or else I would have been done with all of it by now, considering how unsettled I feel and how much homework I have. It's now nearly 10 p.m, and I have just practiced piano for about ten minutes. I must say, playing made me feel a bit better. See, even though I've said so many times that I've long since lost interest in piano, I still enjoy it for this particular reason: it makes me feel better when I'm unhappy or "unsettled," as I currently am. And even though I'm not playing my own music (I doubt I ever will.) I feel like some of my burdens are slowly being relieved as I either vicariously hit or gently touch the keys of the...well, keyboard. (No, not the computer keyboard. Like typing would do me any good in a time of such a state of such... Yeah.) I'm currently feeling extremely sleepy, even though it's not even 10 yet. And I still have a lot of homework to do, as mentioned about ten sentences ago. Oh, well. Forget homework. I shouldn't be doing it when I'm so unsettled, because I wouldn't be learning anything anyway.
Speaking of learning, for English from now on until the whole class can learn to do it "right," we have to use pencil for every assignment we do, and every paper we turn in has to be formatted a certain way. Geez, I hate that. What ever happened to freedom of expression, huh? Now two whole classes of tenth grade English students have been confined to this...this...ridiculously confined space of limited boundaries! Tell me, what is up with that? Okay, the point is, I dislike doing homework in pencil. The only work I do with pencil is math. Heck, I even used to do math in black pen. Non-erasable. Back in the eighth grade. Eighth grade. Good times. Agh.
The chemistry test today was... Well, it wasn't hard. Because it wouldn't be fair to say that it's hard because everything that was on it, we have gone over in class. So I honestly can't blame anyone but myself for not having studied as much as I should have. I studied last night from 11 p.m. until midnight. I'd thought I'd had it down pretty good, until I forgot everything this morning. Yeah, learn from me in this case. Studying late at night at last minute doesn't really work. Huh. It doesn't work at all. What was I talking about, again? Oh, right. Chem. Yeah, I think I did quite horribly on the test. But I couldn't very well worry about that, because I had a MATH quiz right afterward. I hope I don't "jinx" it or anything, but I think the math quiz was pretty easy. Albeit the lenghthyness (I hope I spelled it right) of it. I currently have 40 out of 42 possible points. Agh... Let's hope it stays an A for the rest of the twenty weeks. Or...seventeen. Yay. Oh, I'm turning seventeen this year. Not that it matters. Seeing as how I'll still be at home and still be attending a school that has decided to implement SMALL LEARNING COMMUNITIES. Grr.
Okay, I'm getting extremely, discursively, off track here.
So today, one of my friends asked me if I have A.D.D. I laughed at that. But he asked because I'd told him that yesterday, when I tried to begin my homework at 1 p.m., I ended up sitting on the relatively new chair and, since I like it so much because it's so comfortable, swiveling in it for an hour. Literally. Me. Swiveling in a chair for a whole hour. Then I went on and talked on the phone, then proceeded to do nothing. Then ate dinner. Then showered. And finally started homework at 9. That math homework, which would have taken only half an hour to complete, took 2 freaking hours to do, because my mother just had to put on an enticing movie right next to me. Back to the A.D.D. I'd said no. But then I came home, and talked to one of my other friends (Yes, I have a vast network of acquaintances.) on none other but AIM, and at one point, I began to ramble and ramble and ramble. On and on and on. Seriously, I did not know what was wrong with me, but I just typed so endlessly, and my fingers weren't even tired. (Not that I ever get tired from typing. If I did, then I would have stopped blogging so much so often.) I went from one subject to another and then to a whole other. I've been doing that quite incessantly today, actually. If you haven't just witnessed so. I seriously think there's something seriously wrong with me. For the time being. Or maybe it's you... Probably not.
I really need to sort out my crap, in more ways than one.
What was it I had so much to say?
See, I always blank out at the moment I want to have something to type about, but about twenty minutes after I'm done, all these subjects come to mind. Then I forget them the next day.
So the other day, my friend and I got to talking about...passion for something. She had an assignment that required her to follow a model and write about something she's passionate about. And at first, she couldn't come up with a good something. So I came up with donuts. (We once had an abnormally long conversation about the spelling-- and then the making-- of donuts.) She claimed that you can't expand on donuts. And I said, "Sure you can." Donuts are a lot like life in that they are complete in their roundness, yet they have a void in the middle that sometimes simply cannot be filled. She gave me an A+. Haha.
Possibly a couple of days before that, or maybe after, I forget, but it's not like it's important anyway, I came across my... editor's blog, and apparently, he had just found out about "six-word stories." I was intrigued when I saw that, because in English class one time, our teacher was reading them to us. So I thought up of a plethora of six-word stories that night, one of which was, "This is my six word story." Another was, "Waiting on the world to change." Know that song? Yeah... Anyway, you should try doing some. It's fun, and the brevity of it all is extremely compatible with impatience (like mine).
Reading that blog, I also came across a quote that I found fascinating:
"I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead." -Samuel Clemens
Think about that some. I find great meaning in it.
This was in the last blog...from yesterday, but I'll put it up again, seeing as how I've memorized it to the point that I actually understand and enjoy it:
Have you persuaded yourself that there are knowledges and truths beyond your grasp? Things you simply cannot learn? Have you allowed failure to force you to conclude that you are not mathematical, not linguistic, not poetic, not scientific, not philosophical?
If you have allowed that to happen, you have carelessly imposed limits on your intellectual freedom. And you have smothered the fire from which all other freedoms arise.
Speaking of which, I did rather fabulously on my "I am fabulous because..." speech today, even though I didn't feel the least bit fabulous. When I started that quote, the Deca people from last...well, the "experienced" ones, I guess you could say, started cracking up. It's because Cathers used to say it all the time. And that's probably the only reason why I used it. I love HIPP... and Deca, of course.
Okay, I think that's about enough for tonight. In about forty minutes, I've typed far more than I could have hand-written in my journal. I should give it a greeting soon, though. I'm sure it misses me, as I miss it. Ha, my alter-ego there.
But now there's no reply
Only hi, goodbye
Like a dream come true
When it was me and you
Now I just don't know why
We say hi and
Hi and goodbye
(No, I didn't write that.)
I feel so upset and unsettled that I just have to write. Something, anything. Well, not homework, or else I would have been done with all of it by now, considering how unsettled I feel and how much homework I have. It's now nearly 10 p.m, and I have just practiced piano for about ten minutes. I must say, playing made me feel a bit better. See, even though I've said so many times that I've long since lost interest in piano, I still enjoy it for this particular reason: it makes me feel better when I'm unhappy or "unsettled," as I currently am. And even though I'm not playing my own music (I doubt I ever will.) I feel like some of my burdens are slowly being relieved as I either vicariously hit or gently touch the keys of the...well, keyboard. (No, not the computer keyboard. Like typing would do me any good in a time of such a state of such... Yeah.) I'm currently feeling extremely sleepy, even though it's not even 10 yet. And I still have a lot of homework to do, as mentioned about ten sentences ago. Oh, well. Forget homework. I shouldn't be doing it when I'm so unsettled, because I wouldn't be learning anything anyway.
Speaking of learning, for English from now on until the whole class can learn to do it "right," we have to use pencil for every assignment we do, and every paper we turn in has to be formatted a certain way. Geez, I hate that. What ever happened to freedom of expression, huh? Now two whole classes of tenth grade English students have been confined to this...this...ridiculously confined space of limited boundaries! Tell me, what is up with that? Okay, the point is, I dislike doing homework in pencil. The only work I do with pencil is math. Heck, I even used to do math in black pen. Non-erasable. Back in the eighth grade. Eighth grade. Good times. Agh.
The chemistry test today was... Well, it wasn't hard. Because it wouldn't be fair to say that it's hard because everything that was on it, we have gone over in class. So I honestly can't blame anyone but myself for not having studied as much as I should have. I studied last night from 11 p.m. until midnight. I'd thought I'd had it down pretty good, until I forgot everything this morning. Yeah, learn from me in this case. Studying late at night at last minute doesn't really work. Huh. It doesn't work at all. What was I talking about, again? Oh, right. Chem. Yeah, I think I did quite horribly on the test. But I couldn't very well worry about that, because I had a MATH quiz right afterward. I hope I don't "jinx" it or anything, but I think the math quiz was pretty easy. Albeit the lenghthyness (I hope I spelled it right) of it. I currently have 40 out of 42 possible points. Agh... Let's hope it stays an A for the rest of the twenty weeks. Or...seventeen. Yay. Oh, I'm turning seventeen this year. Not that it matters. Seeing as how I'll still be at home and still be attending a school that has decided to implement SMALL LEARNING COMMUNITIES. Grr.
Okay, I'm getting extremely, discursively, off track here.
So today, one of my friends asked me if I have A.D.D. I laughed at that. But he asked because I'd told him that yesterday, when I tried to begin my homework at 1 p.m., I ended up sitting on the relatively new chair and, since I like it so much because it's so comfortable, swiveling in it for an hour. Literally. Me. Swiveling in a chair for a whole hour. Then I went on and talked on the phone, then proceeded to do nothing. Then ate dinner. Then showered. And finally started homework at 9. That math homework, which would have taken only half an hour to complete, took 2 freaking hours to do, because my mother just had to put on an enticing movie right next to me. Back to the A.D.D. I'd said no. But then I came home, and talked to one of my other friends (Yes, I have a vast network of acquaintances.) on none other but AIM, and at one point, I began to ramble and ramble and ramble. On and on and on. Seriously, I did not know what was wrong with me, but I just typed so endlessly, and my fingers weren't even tired. (Not that I ever get tired from typing. If I did, then I would have stopped blogging so much so often.) I went from one subject to another and then to a whole other. I've been doing that quite incessantly today, actually. If you haven't just witnessed so. I seriously think there's something seriously wrong with me. For the time being. Or maybe it's you... Probably not.
I really need to sort out my crap, in more ways than one.
What was it I had so much to say?
See, I always blank out at the moment I want to have something to type about, but about twenty minutes after I'm done, all these subjects come to mind. Then I forget them the next day.
So the other day, my friend and I got to talking about...passion for something. She had an assignment that required her to follow a model and write about something she's passionate about. And at first, she couldn't come up with a good something. So I came up with donuts. (We once had an abnormally long conversation about the spelling-- and then the making-- of donuts.) She claimed that you can't expand on donuts. And I said, "Sure you can." Donuts are a lot like life in that they are complete in their roundness, yet they have a void in the middle that sometimes simply cannot be filled. She gave me an A+. Haha.
Possibly a couple of days before that, or maybe after, I forget, but it's not like it's important anyway, I came across my... editor's blog, and apparently, he had just found out about "six-word stories." I was intrigued when I saw that, because in English class one time, our teacher was reading them to us. So I thought up of a plethora of six-word stories that night, one of which was, "This is my six word story." Another was, "Waiting on the world to change." Know that song? Yeah... Anyway, you should try doing some. It's fun, and the brevity of it all is extremely compatible with impatience (like mine).
Reading that blog, I also came across a quote that I found fascinating:
"I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead." -Samuel Clemens
Think about that some. I find great meaning in it.
This was in the last blog...from yesterday, but I'll put it up again, seeing as how I've memorized it to the point that I actually understand and enjoy it:
Have you persuaded yourself that there are knowledges and truths beyond your grasp? Things you simply cannot learn? Have you allowed failure to force you to conclude that you are not mathematical, not linguistic, not poetic, not scientific, not philosophical?
If you have allowed that to happen, you have carelessly imposed limits on your intellectual freedom. And you have smothered the fire from which all other freedoms arise.
Speaking of which, I did rather fabulously on my "I am fabulous because..." speech today, even though I didn't feel the least bit fabulous. When I started that quote, the Deca people from last...well, the "experienced" ones, I guess you could say, started cracking up. It's because Cathers used to say it all the time. And that's probably the only reason why I used it. I love HIPP... and Deca, of course.
Okay, I think that's about enough for tonight. In about forty minutes, I've typed far more than I could have hand-written in my journal. I should give it a greeting soon, though. I'm sure it misses me, as I miss it. Ha, my alter-ego there.
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