Days of My Life

I slept at almost 2:30 last night (because I had trouble falling asleep again) and woke up at 7:57, only to fell back asleep on and off until 9:14. I suck at sleeping nowadays. I mean, even on days I don't have work, I end up sleeping later and waking up at almost the same time. What the heck is up with that?! Two days ago, I found out that the youth program actually ends on September 7, which means that I work until that day, which means I have two weeks less of vacation. Which means I have two weeks of vacation. If that. So while everybody else is happy that they get to get paid more, I am mad because I get to rest less! As of now, I have had three dreams about work. The office lead--the one I was covering for my first two weeks in the office--said that that's an indication that I work too much. Now there's a wonder! Speaking of dreams, I really have been dreaming almost every night since I watched "Inception". How scary. And yesterday, I had deja vu at one poin...

Tonight, we went to The Boiling Crab on Main Street in Alhambra. Immensely glad I am that I remembered to suggest it when we were deciding where to go for dinner. We waited a while, but the meal was worth every minute's wait. Even better, it was worth more than every dollar paid. Twenty-something for seriously excellent seafood and quick service?! That's my kind of food fantasy. And I might sound so fat right now, but the great thing is that I don't feel fat. Unlike when I finish eating McDonald's or something. The one-pound of shrimp with the whole sha-bang seasoning was amazing. The fried catfish basket with Cajun fries was not as amazing as the shrimp, but amazing nonetheless. Heck, even the corn on the cob was good! Gosh, good stuff. I highly recommend this place to anyone who is not allergic to seafood. This morning, I woke up at 9:00 because W called me to invite me to Universal Studios, but I declined despite the $20 ticket because 1) I don't have money, and...

It's been four days since I last blogged, and that feels like way too long. And although I don't particularly know exactly what I might talk about here tonight, I'm blogging because I feel like it. Currently, I am listening to "Her Words Destroyed My Planet" by Motion City Soundtrack. About half an hour ago, I came back from ROCK hangout at V's home. I had expected games and conversations, but it was just a handful of us--mostly girls--watching television or arguing about what to watch on it. Food included pizza, tortilla chips, and orange juice. And then mango cake for dessert, which looked far too sweet for me to try, so I didn't. Yay, me. For the past week or two, I have been craving Mexican food. I hope N and I go to Dino's tomorrow so we can satisfy both of our cravings. And I hope there will be some good talking going on then, because this obvious shortage of communication yesterday and today is killing me. I've already discussed how importan...

At 9:30, I spontaneously went to Yogurtland with V because I was too bored and hadn't planned to do anything useful anyway. The frozen yogurt was tremendous bliss to my taste buds. I hadn't gone there in a long while, and they just so happened to have my favorite flavors tonight: peach, mango, lemonade-passionfruit, vanilla wafer. Yummy yummy for my tummy. And the talk wasn't half bad, either. We asked very few questions but received extremely long responses from one another, which I appreciate. Anyway, I'm glad that short and sweet (haha) event took place, or else my day of utter boredom would have miserably and pathetically continued. Even though I had things to do at work today, I was just so darn bored! Strangely, I wasn't even thinking of anything to un-bore myself. And now I'm blogging a boring post! This is quite uncharacteristic of me. Uncharacteristic meaning, it hasn't happened in a while. Last night, I finally organized all the items in and on my ...

Earlier tonight, I had thought of something things I wanted to write about. But right now, the outstanding matter on my mind is, I don't know whether to worry more for myself or for others. While I was showering, which is always my time to either ponder most deeply or clear my mind, I kept thinking, "I should be more selfish when...and less selfish when..." Which made me feel guilty. Guilty because I haven't been thinking about or doing enough for myself with some people and guilty because I haven't been thinking about or doing enough for others with other people. Resolution would be wonderful, but I don't think that I can suddenly change myself like that. Or suddenly change my relationships with people like that. I don't know if it sounds as drastic to you as it does to myself in my own head. And although I'm not sure if resolution will ever occur, I sure hope it will find its way into my life, for the goodness and betterment of myself and for others....

This is the second night of UCLA's freshman orientation, and I started my series of incessant yawns about two hours ago. In other words, I am immensely sleepy, and here I am, on the second night of orientation, sitting alone in my assigned dorm room, blogging. There's nothing even much to do. Today was merely about deciding what classes we want to take for the fall, but it's not even until tomorrow that we sign up for them. And who knows if we will get them after all? Goodness gracious. But yeah. I am exhausted. Quite frankly, I haven't particularly cared to make any new friends over the past two days, because I'll just see them again in just about a month. And if I don't, well, it doesn't really matter, because the population here is so overwhelmingly large anyhow. If I sound unhappy or nonchalant, it's because I really am. I didn't want to come here to begin with, and now I want to go home. I don't think I should be feeling this way, because it...

It's actually 11:59 right now, and I should be getting ready to sleep since I have work tomorrow, but I feel like writing, so I am going to take advantage of this urge before it goes away for who knows how long. Today, I woke up at 10:01 and whipped my blanket away, for some reason in a rush to get up. And then my phone dropped onto the floor after it hit the end of my bed... I got up, did my morning routines, and ate some fried rice for my late breakfast. Then I loitered on the Internet until around noon, when I got the idea to make a special collage-poster for a certain somebody for a certain occasion. So I gathered the supplies needed and started my project around one. By two, I had completed a relatively nice project. For an hour, I waited and waited for something to happen, but nothing did. Finally, I went to ROCK Sunday. I am so glad I decided to go instead of sit around at home, waiting for Godot. It started off very slowly and uneventfully, but eventually, it picked up and ...

I have a lot to write about, but since I don't feel quite in the writing mood tonight, all I will say is... I just found out that I have to take the math placement test during orientation. I thought passing the AP Calc exam exempted me from that! AND supposedly, I indicated I do NOT want a partial fee waiver for that stupidly expensive orientation. WHEN DID I DO THAT, HUH? I clearly remember reading the guidelines for it and clicking yes. Darn them.

So much conflict has exploded right in front of me in the last two or three days. It is insane. I mean, there I was, just working and coming home and doing the usual nothing, and after one or two days of different activities, I get all this drama in my face! I haven't had to deal with so much PERSONAL "drama" in such a long time that at some moments, I pause in the midst of the accusations and tears to ask myself if this is really my reality as of present. Despite the plenty of tears I have shed in the past 48 hours and the plenty of times I have questioned what I have gotten myself into, I am okay now. Just like I've always known I would always be. There are two ways of looking at this: It's all a part of God's plan. He presents everybody with obstacles to help us learn and to help us grow and to develop our faith in Him. Yeah, it's difficult, discouraging, demanding, but each step has its respectively meaningful purpose. And every step we conquer only st...

Just like that? Talk to me. I couldn't concentrate at work today because I kept thinking about one thing, one person who might not even have been thinking of me at all. Thinking and thinking and thinking, endlessly and tearfully and painfully. We need to talk because I need resolution: tie up loose ends find conflict and extinguish it We need to talk because I need to know: what went wrong? why did you change everything? how could you just not talk to me? when will it be right again? You promised: to talk with me no matter what to celebrate eight.eight. to treat me well to take care of me Where are you for all of this now?