Days of My Life

"I've got to move on and be who I am." I woke up at 11:48 a.m. today, ate "breakfast", and plunked myself down at the computer for the rest of the afternoon. Basically, I've been on the computer all day today. With the exception of doing math homework for about half an hour. I actually got ahead on my chemistry homework, which is good. Although, I really need to set my priorities straight, because really, I could have been studying instead. Not that getting ahead isn't good. Anyway, I watched just about the whole first episode of Gossip Girl on YouTube today. It was FREAKING AWESOME. I loved it so much. It's really really good. Like, really. Then in the evening I started watching clips of High School Musical 2 . Lots of new songs! Yay! So, it's actually been cold this week. And it actually rained last night and today. It's nice. But this time of year, people have all these allergies and colds and whatnot, and I get really... paranoid when I...

Gossip Girl premieres at 9:00, which is about an hour and twenty minutes from this very moment. I am so... sigh . I just want to be able to watch some television or read or write something (not including this, obviously) without having to worry about studying all the time. Today was COLD. I actually started having a "good day" in third period just because of the weather, but it was REALLY COLD by sixth period. And by 4:00, it was INSANELY COLD! Like, frio like in the Arctic! Not that I'd know exactly how cold it gets there, but still. It's nice, though, I guess, because then I can snuggle up. With...my jacket/sweater. It's a very heartwarming, fulfilling feeling. Hahaha. Okay, I should be studying my arse off right now. And for the rest of the semester. It finally hit me hard today that I have A LOT of things to handle and manage (or try to) right now. So seriously. I need to prioritize my time. And this should not be a priority. Goodness gracious.

Gossip Girl starts tomorrow on CW. Oh, yay. I am not obsessed. ...I wasn't in denial. It's the truth. But still, I'd like to watch it. Today, I totally hated EVERYONE. Just plain HATED EVERYONE. Seriously. I think I'm back to my "I hate everyone and the general public" phase that originated from seventh/eighth grade. It's probably because EVERYONE IN MY CLASSES SUCK! Okay, not all my classes, but two or three of them. Still, that's enough to make me hate the general public again. In sixth period PE today, while I was walking around, I so wanted an idiot to bump into me or something just so that I could be totally rude to them with a legitimate excuse. I wanted to yell, "What's your problem? Watch where you're going!" or something. At one point, while my friend and I were just sitting on the ground in the shade, I actually stated somewhat loudly, "I hate everyone!" The person who was talking to two other people behind us sto...

meaning, I was only kidding. That is my temporary "favorite" Spanish line. Followed by " Hacer lo mejor que se pueda. " meaning , Do the best you can . I am not done with homework, yet I still have the "time" to do this. It's one of those bad things I know I shouldn't do but still feel "compelled" to do when I'm at the computer. Or whatever. So it turns out that the chemistry homework wasn't all hard. The first part was, and still is, very difficult. I shall...get it resolved later. By calling someone, haha. Tomorrow, I have a math test. Tuesday, English test and Spanish project due. Wednesday, chemistry unit exam. Argh. I finished my Spanish project yesterday...well, this morning, actually. It was only a finishing touch, but yes, I finished this morning at around 11. I'd say it's a pretty darn good book! I tell ya, if I didn't know the teacher and the teacher didn't know me already, I'd sweep her off her feet ...

Gossip Girl starts this coming Wednesday, the 19th at 9 p.m. Pacific time on CW. I am no longer "obsessed" with it, by the way. And I'll be doing homework at that time...

I am tired and miserable. I woke up at 10:47 a.m., practiced piano for a while, ate lunch at 11:40, then started on homework. Math homework was harder than I had expected, although it was all just reviewing solving equations. I suck at math. I really do. I looked up the odd numbered problems on the Internet and just copied the solutions without any clue whatsoever what I was doing. And I left the evens blank with utter confusion. Chemistry. Ah. I did not understand that either. I tried looking up some other things online, but they didn't help much. So I've been in misery of not being able to complete any homework today. And I feel totally unfocused. After ten hours of sleep last night, I am still sleepy. I have no idea what to do now. I can't do any homework, feel like sleeping but don't want to, don't have anywhere to go, blahblahblah. I hate days like these. I really do.

I absolutely love this month's LA Youth ("the newspaper by and about teens") issue. Two of the articles actually brought tears to my eyes. And then I found out about a blog called PostSecret, where people anonymously send in postcards of artwork with their never-before-told secrets. I think that that was, and definitely still is, a completely brilliant project. This morning, I woke up at 6 even though there is no school. Just for the sake of tennis. And we went to play for about a measly hour. It was pretty boring... not really any game in what we played. Just plain hitting the ball... It occurred to me that any dumb person can pick up a racket and just hit the ball. It's not all that hard. But, yeah. I haven't played since January of this year, which is a long time ago. Oh well. I frequently complain about how gay tennis is when someone mentions it. Maybe it's just because I suck, haha.

I know I posted barely two hours ago, but something (good) just occurred to me. Oh, wait...I forgot. Umm... Okay, now I remember. Inside every "just kidding" is some seriousness that completely means what has been said or done. Think about that some.

Today is Wednesday. Boy, does the term "hump day" apply to today. It passed by so darn slowly...! All day, I was just darn anticipating for the after-school bell to ring already so I can have my after school session for one of my classes. But, yeah. Wow, I actually got 44% on a test... Of course, and fortunately, it was a practice test. It occurred to me that finding the correct answer for each mistake on a 50-question test in four packets of information isn't as easy as it may seem. I took one and a half hours to correct just darn 15 or so of them. And I'd (supposedly) read the material, too! Not that you (whoever you are) care... I realized again today that nothing is ever really truly completely gone. There is always a fragment, a remnant, no matter how small, left. And I am now done with my just darn "poetically profound" bit (for now). Maybe you've realized that I usually don't use second person point of view much. I don't know why I'm d...

I am so not amused, nor can I easily be today. Seriously. I won't even bother elaborate any further (not that I even did at all). I'm a very contradicting person. There are times when I can be just a plain, simple girl, and then there are other times when I can be a pain-in-the-butt-complicated person. I like to avoid being the center of attention, but I tend to be rather self-centered during conversations. I'm an environmentalist, yet I constantly forget to turn off the light in my room at home. I'm a perfectionist and a hard worker, but I'm a procrastinator and also a lazy bum. I can be serious and standoffish, or I can be hilarious and...not friendly, but somewhere around there. And here I am being self-centered again! But then again, this is my blog, so it'd only make perfectly good sense that I write about myself (not that I'm ever not ) every once in a while. I'm one who is constantly driven by perversion . No, not as in pervert. Go look it up. I d...

I think sometimes, we just need to learn to let go of whatever it is that we've been holding onto for so long. It's worth it, though. Is it really? There could be something else out there worth more, but our peripheral vision is just not functioning because we're purposely disabling ourselves from seeing out of that one box. We've stuck ourselves between four walls and don't want to let go, although sometimes we know we should. What then? Whatever it is, letting go is most likely going to seem hard, and it will take time, but we simply need to try. Holding onto something that we almost know for sure we are not going to get will just prolong and enlarge the pain in the long run. But the fact that we've finally let go doesn't necessarily mean that we have to forget or give up all hope. We're merely letting ourselves see what else is out there, and how much better it can get.

Since 8 p.m. of yesterday, I am officially temporarily obsessed with Gossip Girl . Apparently, it's going to be on CW this fall. Probably October, which is coming up very soon, for those of you who don't realize how quickly time passes by. I am so excited! Even though I don't have television to watch because there's no cable and the local channels gaily don't work. I was watching all the video clips of it that I could possibly ever find on YouTube. Yes, YouTube. I was that desperate. How did I even find out...? Huh. Well, it was on one of those links on Yahoo! under the features thing, and I just had to click on it, and there you go. I was obsessed. I spent three hours on the computer last night, one watching those clips and then just finding all this beautiful new music. Yay! I am totally in love with the song Beauty of Grace by Krystal Meyers. And I Can't Help Myself by Vaughan Penn and the same one but totally different by Nobody's Angel. I'm pretty ...

I am, as one of my acquaintances once called himself, a low-life. Or, I'm currently being one. Actually, I've been doing nothing the whole day but doing nothing on the computer. Which is really bad and very lowly of me to...do. I have homework, sure, and I really should be doing it...I should have been done a long time ago, actually. But I got stuck on the second question of the discussion part of the lab write-up, so I gave up. Yeah, I'm probably not making any sense. This is what results from spending time on the computer all day while there are other more important things to be doing. Um...yeah. I wrote three new poems yesterday and today. Yay for me :) I think they're pretty good, to be perfectly honest, haha. At this particular moment and for the next several, I am listening to the song Wadsyaname by Nelly. I love this song. It's like K-Ci & JoJo's All My Life meets Nelly. Actually, it is. In my opinion. And it is awesome. My throat kind of hurts from...

For some reason (and I probably know that unmentionable reason), I really despise Spanish II now. Three third period was okay, although I was the only sophmore there and everyone else was either a junior or a senior. Dude. I don't like going down a step. It's so... maddening . I absolutely hate having PE sixth period, when the sun is freaking at the peak of blazing its rays and creating the insane, undesirable utter heat for physical education students. I so do not want to get any darker. I seriously do not get why people intentionally go out for a tan. But hey, whatever sinks their ships. I really just dislike my schedule this semester. Every class is so darn crowded. I'm going to become claustrophobic someday, just watch. I don't like huge classes. What ever happened to small learning communities , huh? Gosh. I mean, REALLY. They're trying to do this thing where all the honors students or whatever are in the same classes. It was fine last year, but this year, the...

I just finished eating my umpteenth fruit of the day. Yum. For the past two days, I have been SCHTUDYING my brain out. Kind of. So I admit it's a whole lot of reading that I should have done throughout the summer instead of trying to cramcramcram it all in in about five days. But hey, I work well under pressure. Still...it's really utterly boring stuff. And I'm barely absorbing any of it by "reading" and highlighting. I'm only reading to get it done, not to actually memorize anything. Honestly, I have no idea what I'm even reading half the time. I mean, the words process, but the whole concept doesn't. That's not too good. Last night... I found this completely INCREDIBLE song by Ne-Yo. In addition to his other great songs, of course. Irreplaceable by Ne-Yo! Yeah! Instead of to the left, to the left , it's to the right, to the right . It's BEAUTIFUL. I had this really...invigorating dream last night/this morning/during my last sleep (haha)....