Auxiliary

Auxiliary verbs: is, am, are, was, were, be, being, been, has, have, had, do, does, did, shall, will, should, would, may, might, must, can, could.
I learned these 23 auxiliary verbs in eighth grade, when Mrs. Heffner pushed us to learn and love grammar. And learn and love grammar I did.

But I never really heeded the word "auxiliary," much less used it or saw it in writing. A few days ago, while thinking about everything that I have been doing for the past two and a half years, especially with regards to work, auxiliary came to mind. Initially, I thought it weird that such a word would occur to me in the middle of that thought process, but upon contemplation, I realized how applicable it is in relation to me. And by me, I mean what I do, because really, what are we but what we do, right? (Not necessarily, but that's a conversation for later.) Anyway, I am auxiliary. My current and past job descriptions can all be summed up with that one not-used-often-enough word. Like the 23 auxiliary verbs, I am an auxiliary mechanism/ person/ worker/ what-have-you in that I am not the main verb itself. This all sounded so simple in my head, but hopefully the example and explanation will be helpful enough to help understand you understand what I am probably very poorly construing.

She must write the final paper in order to pass the class.
She has been writing the final paper in order to pass the class.

In both cases, "she" is the subject, and although the rest of the sentence is the predicate (phrase), "must" and "has been" only serve as auxiliaries to "write" and "writing," respectively, the main verbs. "Must" and "has been" hold no meaning in terms of action--they only accentuate or, slightly similar to adverbs, point to the extent of the action verbs.
Simply said, auxiliary is what I am. Sometimes, I don't mind it so much, because everybody needs an auxiliary, and I'm glad to be a helping hand. Other times, I want so much to be an action verb instead of an auxiliary one, a branch off its superior, holding little to no independent meaning.
But that's not to say that I don't think I have meaning--even though I might not be making sense or meaning to you at the moment. Maybe you see this as my cry or desire for power. And maybe you're right, that that thirst is the root of my auxiliary troubles.
Mostly, though, I am simply tired of being an auxiliary to so many verbs and spending so much time making life easier for other people while frantically running around neglecting my own needs. At the same time, I acknowledge that one will always be an auxiliary until reaching action status. And you have to suck it up until then. I guess that's what I'll do.

And that's just in terms of work and school. Imagine when parenthood comes along. Parenthood, if nothing else, is all about auxiliary, being the support for the action. Granted, parenthood involves more power and agency in that parents can yell at and discipline their children as much as they want (with some reservation, of course). But still, the latter has the ultimate agency to engage in whatever action they please.

On that note, while auxiliary verbs aren't completely functional or meaningful as stand-alone words, often action verbs cannot function without them. Take the above italicized sentences, for example. If you were to omit "must" and "has been," those sentences would not make sense. Similarly, a motor vehicle without auxiliary brakes would not be safe or functional. Suffice it to say, while auxiliary  may not employ or exude as much agency as one might like, it indubitably plays a critical role for the action, earning its grammatically--and otherwise--proclaimed significance in the world.

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