Just Give Me a Chance

I may be young,
A song unsung
But let me be heard
And I'll give my word
I can make a difference
With my aspiration and intelligence
I've got big hopes for the world
And all the promise that it holds
I can make sad people smile
And coldhearted people cry
I can solve the petty problems
And whatever else that comes
I have a strong stance
Just give me a chance.

July 22, 2007

I think I wrote that back when I thought quite highly of myself and truly believed that I was meant to and could make a difference in the world. Despite my age, I could have done things to make the world better--if only somebody would take me seriously at that age.

Now, I no longer feel this confidence. I know I still have the same intelligence, but I just am no longer sure about the aspiration. Certainly, my aspirations have changed, and as that progressed, my certainty and confidence have only dwindled. Now, at 20 years old (as opposed to 15), I have no idea what I want to do or what I want to be. I have no idea what to study, what path to take, what to even write on my paper.

I used to write poems like this (some better, some worse) with utter confidence in what I wanted to say and write. Now, I can rarely verbally express a thought without hesitation of some sort.
Gosh, what has happened to all that confidence and certainty? I thought college was supposed to bolster them, not completely destroy them!

In any case, I just miss this confidence in myself as well as the glimmering hope I seemed to have for the world--and for myself.

Jeez, this sure was a good way to self-deprecate before papers and finals!
But don't worry. I'm just a bit (understatement?) lost and kind of beating myself up about it.
...until I realize that there must be so many other college students going through the same thing.

'Tis all for now!

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