What I Feel
I feel that I cannot connect with or talk to anybody today. Truth be told, I myself do not even know if I have anything to say, much less what I want to say. Yesterday was the same thing. For some reason, I feel like isolating myself from the world for a while and just not really talk to anybody. Perhaps this is driving people away from me. After all, nobody likes to converse with a standoffish person, right? Gee, I hope this wears off, because this, in addition to many other things, is beginning to tire me out.
Today is December 1, which means that 2009 is soon coming to an end. Unlike previous years, I cannot say that this year has passed by all that quickly. I mean, I can barely remember when it was 2008 because 2009 has been so exhausting, in lack of a better word. In other news, I will turn eighteen in a little over three weeks--nothing to be excited for, but something worth mentioning. Hopefully I will host some sort of a function somewhere to enjoy with people I care about. Yay.
In fourth period, I found out that the UC application deadline was extended to today. That is so lame, I tell you. I mean, it is nobody but the applicant's fault for even trying to submit on November 30, the deadline day. Obviously, the server will be jammed like PB&J (probably does not make sense, but I felt like saying it anyway) that day and probably the day before, as well. And it isn't like it cannot be in the same condition today. But the UC people are nice to have done that, though. It must be amnesty or mercy day or something. Anyway, my point is that people should not try to do something as important as college applications last minute. Procrastination is definitely a habit worth kicking, particularly for seniors from October to January. So, if you are applying to private/ out of state schools, it would behoove you to start now! Do not tell me "tomorrow, tomorrow...", because I know what that tranlates to. Believe me, I know. I was once a procrastinator, too, you know.
A lady from DeVry University called me around eight (two hours ago). I found it funny that 1) she called a month and a half after the visitor presented to my English class, 2) she called way past regular office hours, 3) she did not try to convince me to apply to her university. I suppose she was just too blown away by my certainty regarding college plans and whatnot. When, really, my certainty comes and goes. More the latter than the former. But oh, well. We shall see.
I cannot believe I am taking the SAT Reasoning test this Saturday. I had promised myself that November would be the very last standardized test I would take. But no... I just could not get over being so close yet so far from the 2000 mark. Geez, really, when am I ever going to be good enough for myself? That's the thing about me. It isn't not being good enough for other people I worry about. It's disappointing other people and not being good enough for myself that's my problem. I can see why some people might think that that is a good quality, and I cannot disagree. But it gets so difficult sometimes, when I think that I have done the best I can until I realize I can do better... repeatedly, over and over again. For example, I went from failing the first four exams in biology to passing the fifth one. I should have been happy with passing, but I was merely glad. The next exam, I scored 80%, an enormous jump from all the previous tests, yet I still lacked the (inward) excitement I knew I should have felt. What is up with that?
Secondhand Serenade.
It is currently 10:27 p.m. (according to the journalism guide Mr. L has, "a.m." and "p.m." are lowercase, so I have actually been doing it wrong until now), and I shall go sleep because... well, I need to. How much simpler can it get?
If only other matters were like that, too.
Regardless, it's all good.
Today is December 1, which means that 2009 is soon coming to an end. Unlike previous years, I cannot say that this year has passed by all that quickly. I mean, I can barely remember when it was 2008 because 2009 has been so exhausting, in lack of a better word. In other news, I will turn eighteen in a little over three weeks--nothing to be excited for, but something worth mentioning. Hopefully I will host some sort of a function somewhere to enjoy with people I care about. Yay.
In fourth period, I found out that the UC application deadline was extended to today. That is so lame, I tell you. I mean, it is nobody but the applicant's fault for even trying to submit on November 30, the deadline day. Obviously, the server will be jammed like PB&J (probably does not make sense, but I felt like saying it anyway) that day and probably the day before, as well. And it isn't like it cannot be in the same condition today. But the UC people are nice to have done that, though. It must be amnesty or mercy day or something. Anyway, my point is that people should not try to do something as important as college applications last minute. Procrastination is definitely a habit worth kicking, particularly for seniors from October to January. So, if you are applying to private/ out of state schools, it would behoove you to start now! Do not tell me "tomorrow, tomorrow...", because I know what that tranlates to. Believe me, I know. I was once a procrastinator, too, you know.
A lady from DeVry University called me around eight (two hours ago). I found it funny that 1) she called a month and a half after the visitor presented to my English class, 2) she called way past regular office hours, 3) she did not try to convince me to apply to her university. I suppose she was just too blown away by my certainty regarding college plans and whatnot. When, really, my certainty comes and goes. More the latter than the former. But oh, well. We shall see.
I cannot believe I am taking the SAT Reasoning test this Saturday. I had promised myself that November would be the very last standardized test I would take. But no... I just could not get over being so close yet so far from the 2000 mark. Geez, really, when am I ever going to be good enough for myself? That's the thing about me. It isn't not being good enough for other people I worry about. It's disappointing other people and not being good enough for myself that's my problem. I can see why some people might think that that is a good quality, and I cannot disagree. But it gets so difficult sometimes, when I think that I have done the best I can until I realize I can do better... repeatedly, over and over again. For example, I went from failing the first four exams in biology to passing the fifth one. I should have been happy with passing, but I was merely glad. The next exam, I scored 80%, an enormous jump from all the previous tests, yet I still lacked the (inward) excitement I knew I should have felt. What is up with that?
Secondhand Serenade.
It is currently 10:27 p.m. (according to the journalism guide Mr. L has, "a.m." and "p.m." are lowercase, so I have actually been doing it wrong until now), and I shall go sleep because... well, I need to. How much simpler can it get?
If only other matters were like that, too.
Regardless, it's all good.
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