Epistolary Mode

Tonight, I feel quite the contrary to what I felt the day of the previous post. I feel like writing a letter to each significant person in my life. Is that weird? Because this is not the first time I have felt this way. I do write the letters sometimes. In my mind, of course. And then I get absolutely no reply.

In any case... I feel like WRITING tonight. And I love this feeling. You would think that whatever I will write tonight would be meaningful because of my aforementioned urge. But we shall see.

Today, I took my FINAL SAT. I had always told myself I would never take any SAT after October 2009, but things rarely ever work as planned. And truth be told, I had been afraid of regretting not registering for this SAT. So when I found out that the late registration deadline had been extended, I saw that as a sign. Usually, I can predict the approximate score I will get right after I take a test. I do not remember if I was able to do so the first two times I took this test, but today, I am just completely oblivious. Probably because I know that it was my last one. And it feels so darn good to have finished all this testing. Oh, wait, notwithstanding AP exams in May... Ah, the transience of such pleasant feelings is such a disappointment. In any case, I wanted to celebrate with Yogurtland, but unfortunately I had nobody to go with. Plus, today was so cold!

What I am about to say might shock some of you. So if you are sensitive to what may be astounding information, I advise that you skip the rest of this paragraph. Here I go! I have learned to enjoy listening to rap music. It may sound vulgar or nonsensical, but if you really listen, most rap songs have such meaningful lyrics that totally defy the stereotypes of rap music and, even more, rap artists.

Lately, I have also learned to APPRECIATE. Hence, I have been saying "I really appreciate that..." very often. And I have recognized some qualities about me that I appreciate. For instance, my diversity in interests--academic, social, cultural, musical, et cetera. Let's take cultural for a more particular case. AP Spanish Language. I didn' take this to have another AP class, nor did I take it as another building block for my college applications (I really do not appreciate that people do this for the sole purpose of college applications; that's just dumb). I took it because I actually want to learn the culture and language. And I'll let you in on something--I plan to minor in Spanish during my postsecondary education years. :)

I'm starting to bore myself with my talking.
I shall try to talk more next time... and do this before I want to go to sleep. Haha.

Check this out:

http://i.imgur.com/nKAog.jpg

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Talking about T1D

Image
I used to tell people, "I am diabetic" or "I am a diabetic" and I never liked saying that because it wasn't something that people reacted positively to, or it wasn't something that everybody understood.  Previously, I wrote about my first taste of empowerment , when I (finally) learned in middle school to give myself injections. Undoubtedly, this turning point also brought about a change in attitude. Until then, I used to constantly be frustrated or angry about having diabetes, about not being able to do X/Y/Z, about being micromanaged by my parents. After I learned to administer injections to myself and especially after I started using the insulin pump, I began to feel more control over and ownership of my condition. I no longer had to rely on my mother or the school nurse, and I could take insulin whenever, for whatever I wanted to eat (within reason) or glucose reading I needed to correct.  One day, I had an epiphany: that what I had been tell
Read more

Becoming Happier

Image
I can't always make other people happy. It's hard to do and even harder to admit. I spent years making decisions and commitments based on what I thought others wanted or needed, forgoing the better decisions for and commitments to myself. I tried to convince myself that seeing other people happy made me happy, but alas, they were only fleeting moments. On the occasions I failed to make somebody happy, I became disappointed. On the occasions somebody was completely unappreciative, I became angry. Furthermore, I can't ever base my happiness on one person, or any group of persons. I have to find happiness on my own terms, and that means asking myself what I want, and actually doing it. (from " Reflections ", January 2018)  You know the saying, "Do what makes you happy"? Well, I've been trying that out for the past year or so, and it really works. It took a lot for me to realize that I hadn't been happy, and it took a long time for me to become h
Read more

Things I Wish I'd Known

I don't need to try to please everybody. As valiant and commendable of an effort as one can make, it is impossible to make everybody happy. While happiness can ensue via acts of service for others, I've come to realize that it also has to be actively pursued by asking myself what I want .  A good relationship with my parents is just as important as a good relationship with anybody else. In middle school, I began to "rebel", and in doing so, I of course often upset my parents, and began to communicate with them less and less about my daily goings-on. Meanwhile, I began to develop deep relationships with friends and later romantic relationships with boy(s). A part of me thought that it was a trade-off--either relationship with my parents or relationships with my friends. And I made a choice. But really, there was truly no reason it couldn't have been both.  Not every relationship (the general sense of the word, not just the romantic sense) needs to stay a relatio
Read more