Days of My Life

Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker. ~Author Unknown Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.~William Shakespeare, Mid-Summer Night's Dream Shall we compare our hearts to a garden -with beautiful blooms, straggling weeds,swooping birds and sunshine, rain -and most importantly, seeds.~Grey Livingston A hundred hearts would be too fewTo carry all my love for you.~Author Unknown Will you love me in December as you do in May, Will you love me in the good old fashioned way? When my hair has all turned gray, Will you kiss me then and say, That you love me in December as you do in May?~James J. Walker For you see, each day I love you more Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.~Rosemonde Gerard Just thought I'd refresh this with some love, since I'm such a hater. Som...

While I was entering the restroom just two minutes ago to throw away trash, I almost bumped smack into the wall. When I came out, I kicked a shoebox. Then I was about to put on slippers to go into the kitchen, and I almost (again) bumped into the shelf right there. Boy, am I alert today. I guess the "badness" of things always eventually fade away. Fourth through sixth periods aren't so bad anymore. Although sixth period PE is still quite detestable from time to time. The sun is so unbelievably bright at that time! Speaking of weather, the weather this week has been INSANE. The winds can literally blow a child away. They're literally HUGE GUSTS, not breezes , but CONTINUAL GUSTS of HURRICANEOUS WIND. (No, "hurricaneous" isn't a word.) I read about the fires on CBS2new.com (or something like that) when I got home earlier. It's really tragic, really. 300,000 people as of now have had to evacuate their homes. 13 or 14 fires concurrently going. Unbelieva...

Recall the "Lah Dee Dah" blog, and what the bolded text says. It REALLY hit me today that I am "afraid" of failure after giving something my all. I don't want to "waste" my effort and work and not succeed at something. I like competition, but I don't like losing. But losing is vital, because for everything you lose, there's something you gain back. Or in this case, for everything you win, there's something else you lose. I suppose this could mean that I'm an ALL-OR-NOTHING person. Although, being the hypocrite (as with everybody else in this world) that I am, many of the things I do reach their codas about halfway through the process. Which leads back to the "fear of failure" factor. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels like this.

Again, I ought to be studying, but I'm "taking a break." I sure take long breaks... What is there to say? Hmm. Actually, I've got nothing tonight. Okay, so Gossip Girl really isn't allowed to be watched on YouTube anymore, according to what I personally experienced about two hours ago. "Personally experienced"-- what a funny phrase. Tomorrow is yet another workshop day. Joy. "You've got more issues than a magazine stand." Hahaha. That is hilarious. I really take pleasure in footballing ;) I can actually throw and catch! If there was a girls' football team, I'd probably try out for it. Just a thought. What in the world am I doing here? I don't even have anything interesting to say. I'm wasting my time that passes by oh so quickly. I really need to read a new book. I haven't read for pleasure since August, when Fourth Comings came out. Dagnabbit. Um...yeah. And I guess I'm homegoing , or...going to the homecoming danc...

Today was a pretty good day, albeit the boring-ness of it all. I am so bad at impromptu speeches. Especially for a person who constantly makes things up as she goes along? My impromptus are horrible ! But I'll work on it...and hopefully get better at it, obviously. I clearly need to find myself a new word or two. Hmm, what now...? I can't wait until the next episode of Gossip Girl ;) Agh, okay, I guess this is it for tonight, then. Just when I do have time, I don't have anything to write. Geez.

Okay, so I just finished watching the full Episode 4 of G.G. on YouTube. So it's all good. Yay!! :)

So, I really don't want to quit piano. Then again, I really don't want to continue. My heart simply isn't in it anymore. I feel that it'd be unfair to my teacher if I just keep going to lessons but not willing to practice. Half-hearted. It's just not the way to go for something like this. Hence, I shall take a (long) break. Though whoever knows me knows that that will eventually lead to quitting anyway. But taking a break sounds better than just plain quitting. Who knows? Maybe one day my interest in piano will grow back...maybe not. ( cough, cough ) Not much to talk about today. Didn't do much today, and that includes homework, although I was at school for seven hours. But that's beside the point that I didn't get much done today. So I shall do homework after this...And do homework tomorrow night, obviously. I seriously feel like breaking off connections with everyone sometimes. It's like, "JUST LEAVE ME THE FREAKING HECK ALONE, WHY DON'T...

Was it really just yesterday that I last posted? It seems so long ago. Tomorrow night, I will watch episode... 4 of Gossip Girl on YouTube. The third one made me cry. I watched it twice and I cried twice. But that's a good thing. I love books and movies (in this case, TV shows) that make me cry. So...yeah. We have gone for about six weeks without dressing for la clase de educacion fisica , and they decide to make us dress manana , of all days. Oh, joy. I'm going to be basketballing with a whole bunch of morons. So excited. I just found out that Megan McCafferty is doing a reading or whatever of her latest book, Fourth Comings at UCLA on November 28th. At noon. Dagnabbit! I'm going to be in Spanish class during that time!! Argh! I so want to attend that event. I so do. Ugh, people these days.

Today, I got to watch THE BEST BASKETBALL GAME EVER. I mean, sure we lost. But still. It was INTENSE. I really could feel the energy and invigoration of the players right from where I was sitting. It was AMAZING. It swept me off my feet . Who needs one guy to do that when there's a gymful of them playing the best basketball game ever ? The game was SO CLOSE. But like I said, the other team won. During the game, I was practically biting my jacket! And afterward, I was HYPER HYPER! I was obsessed with the best game ever . I still am. I found out the name of my object of admiration (a.k.a. 32 ). I just need to get closer to the scoreboard next time to see the surname, then I can officially "stalk" him. Yay! Yeah, I'm obsessed. But hey. It was THE BEST GAME EVER.

(if only accent marks were available) Episode 4 of Gossip Girl tomorrow at 9 p.m. on CW!

Yeah. I woke up at 5:34 a.m., did the routinely wake-up stuff, then went to school, got home a little before 4 p.m. Currently taking a "break" from math homework. And...I have nothing to say. Oh, but something out of the ordinary did happen today. In fifth period, we actually learned...! Which was, well, surprising, on my part. Actually, fourth through sixth periods weren't bad today. Just today. Maybe someday I'll start to enjoy, or at least not despise, those classes. Okay, this was just a uselessly meaningless write. Hasta luego.

...that sharing is caring. Here's what I say: Don't care, don't share. But unlike what I say, I don't share, but I do care. And sharing isn't always necessarily caring. Sharing a cigarette isn't caring. You're killing the person you're supposedly "sharing" it with. So there you go. Yet another example that there are two sides to everything. Today is Monday. Tomorrow is Tuesday. Blah blah blah. You know, what's the use of calendars? The days all pass by the same anyway. It's not as if knowing what "day" it is would change how things turn out or anything. And how in the world would we know that there are however many days in one month? That there are seven days a week? It's all supposed . I would love to get into all this and the literally part, but I'm short on time, as I have homework, although I technically don't have any homework due tomorrow, but I should really study and read to study. Etcetera. Here are two li...

...and I am breathing in the moment. As I look around, I can't believe the love I see. My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubts. That was then, this is my now... Love that song I really ought to be doing homework right now. I just finished writing in my journal for...almost two hours. It's quite invigorating, really. I really should do homework. It's almost become my FINAL decision to quit piano. I honestly don't care anymore. I never practice. Though it's hard for me to give it up, it's even harder knowing that I'm just letting my teacher on, because I know that I couldn't care less about it anymore. Piano has become one of my " identifiers ", as I like to call it, and that's one of the reasons why it's taken me so long to actually not mind stopping. I could always practice even though I won't have lessons anymore. But let's get real here. I don't practice even when I do have lessons. Agh, we'll see how it a...

I'm back. I was on the computer from after "breakfast" until now. And I haven't gotten much done. I was supposed to finish my chemistry investigation, but I didn't. I was supposed to do my math homework, but I haven't. I was supposed to write a draft of one of my stories yesterday. I just finished it now. Yet, after all I was supposed to do but haven't done, I feel accomplished. Because I wrote. I wrote what I felt, and I wrote how I felt. Actually, it was a rewrite of a story, but I still feel good about it, because I wrote . I love writing. I don't know why I haven't mentioned it here before, but the point is that I do. I haven't mentioned another thing: Gossip Girl : it's what's good. I watch it on YouTube (the only reason why I even go to that website these days). Much thanks to the people who post them. I LOVE that show. It is simply enthralling. Fascinating. Nate is fine ;) Blah...

...Then give me your heart. I haven't done this is in so long. I have been almost overwhelmingly busy with schoolwork, for the first time ever in my academic career. Not surprisingly, I haven't been getting a sufficient amount of sleep, either. Except last night. I slept around midnight and woke up this morning at 11:20. Hallelujah. "Cold" weather has actually begun. Joy to that. I was happy yesterday because the weather was so enjoyable. For me, anyway. So many things have happened, yet it all seems so... boring to talk about now, after so long. I still hate my classes, especially fourth through sixth periods. It's always between those classes that I come up with mean comments and ideas to say to people but never actually say them. Undoubtedly, I find those classes highly detestable. Still. One of my classes, however, has become my haven, almost. I am "deca-cated"... It seems that all I've been doing has been all for Deca. Although I never really st...