A Nice, Warm, Sunny Day
"Please let tomorrow be a nice, warm, sunny day. In Jesus's name we pray, Amen."
That's how I ended every prayer, every night when I was a child. And almost every day turned out to be a "nice, warm, sunny" one, so I thought God must have been real. At some point, I got suspicious, so from time to time, I purposely skipped that part (and felt guilty about it because I wasn't doing the world the favor of asking for good weather); and for the most part, each of those days still turned out to be exactly the way I otherwise prayed. Down the road, I wised up and realized that in Southern California, the bulk of the year consists of "nice, warm, sunny days."
This anecdote does not represent my shift away from prayer. It's just something that crossed my mind earlier while hoping for good running weather for tomorrow's La Jolla Half Marathon. We have to be at the shuttle to get to Del Mar by 5:30 a.m. yet I am still awake, attending to my urge to write.
Running has been quite the challenge lately, both mentally and physically, what with bad knees--and sometimes ankles--and then simple laziness. But the end of every run, from the sweat to the soreness, feels fantastic. I'm starting to believe that, with the recent improvement of my knee conditions (knock on wood), I can continue to run half marathons as long as I properly care for my knees in between each stint. I think. I sure hope. On the other hand, a small, strange, perverse part of me frequently tells me that I should not be going out to run or work out because I don't deserve to feel the endorphin-induced high because I haven't found a full-time job. On the other hand, a tiny, complacent yet caring, part of me doesn't want to have to leave my six students for a full-time job... Per usual, my mind is befuddled with contradicting thoughts that typically end up in mental stalemate and physical inaction.
Thankfully, though, I've been receiving a great deal of support from MC and a few others lately, and that encouragement really helps to remove me from the state of stalemate and inaction, because as I have previously written, we have near complete control over our own lives. Most of the actions that we take or leave are by choice, uninfluenced by any greater power that cannot be overcome or overreached. We can very easily choose to do the better thing, the right thing, to take one path over another, to pave additional paths... And often, whatever we end up doing but don't like, we try to think up excuses to justify the dissatisfaction. Meanwhile, we could more effectively be seeking alternatives to increase overall contentment.
But that brings me the topic of the next best thing. At what point are we to stop actively seeking and pursuing the next best thing? Unless complacent and content, don't we all want the best for ourselves? But then while doing that, aren't we being unfair to those who deserve more than just a sliver of our attention and effort?
Just some food for thought... I should catch those quickly fleeting four hours of sleep now before the half marathon.
That's how I ended every prayer, every night when I was a child. And almost every day turned out to be a "nice, warm, sunny" one, so I thought God must have been real. At some point, I got suspicious, so from time to time, I purposely skipped that part (and felt guilty about it because I wasn't doing the world the favor of asking for good weather); and for the most part, each of those days still turned out to be exactly the way I otherwise prayed. Down the road, I wised up and realized that in Southern California, the bulk of the year consists of "nice, warm, sunny days."
This anecdote does not represent my shift away from prayer. It's just something that crossed my mind earlier while hoping for good running weather for tomorrow's La Jolla Half Marathon. We have to be at the shuttle to get to Del Mar by 5:30 a.m. yet I am still awake, attending to my urge to write.
Running has been quite the challenge lately, both mentally and physically, what with bad knees--and sometimes ankles--and then simple laziness. But the end of every run, from the sweat to the soreness, feels fantastic. I'm starting to believe that, with the recent improvement of my knee conditions (knock on wood), I can continue to run half marathons as long as I properly care for my knees in between each stint. I think. I sure hope. On the other hand, a small, strange, perverse part of me frequently tells me that I should not be going out to run or work out because I don't deserve to feel the endorphin-induced high because I haven't found a full-time job. On the other hand, a tiny, complacent yet caring, part of me doesn't want to have to leave my six students for a full-time job... Per usual, my mind is befuddled with contradicting thoughts that typically end up in mental stalemate and physical inaction.
Thankfully, though, I've been receiving a great deal of support from MC and a few others lately, and that encouragement really helps to remove me from the state of stalemate and inaction, because as I have previously written, we have near complete control over our own lives. Most of the actions that we take or leave are by choice, uninfluenced by any greater power that cannot be overcome or overreached. We can very easily choose to do the better thing, the right thing, to take one path over another, to pave additional paths... And often, whatever we end up doing but don't like, we try to think up excuses to justify the dissatisfaction. Meanwhile, we could more effectively be seeking alternatives to increase overall contentment.
But that brings me the topic of the next best thing. At what point are we to stop actively seeking and pursuing the next best thing? Unless complacent and content, don't we all want the best for ourselves? But then while doing that, aren't we being unfair to those who deserve more than just a sliver of our attention and effort?
Just some food for thought... I should catch those quickly fleeting four hours of sleep now before the half marathon.
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