The Calm (before the storm?)
I believe I have finally reached the calm that I had frantically been seeking for several months. I have finally taken opportunities which stood right in front of me and pursued what I know or suspect I want. And I'm in a better place (not that I was in a bad place to begin with, don't get me wrong) because of this.
Not until recently did I truly learn the significance of the following cliches:
And on this note, you just never know until you try. We miss out on so many potentially wonderful things when we keep our eyes and minds closed and decide to stay "comfortable." Granted, there's always the chance of rejection when we do step out of our comfort zones, but at least we'll have tried and learned. I distinctly remember the following line from Disney's 1999 movie, "Smart House"--
In any case, I find that I have been a lot happier lately because of the pursuits I have undertaken in various aspects of my life. Admittedly, many of them do not come into fruition, but that's okay, because I know that I have at least gone after what I think could be good for me. Previously, I blogged about "the chase" and how much I missed it. A short while after that post was when I decided to take initiative with my life. I began to chase after what (I thought) I wanted, and things have been looking up since then.
By deciding that I am going to teach English abroad for either a summer or a year after I graduate college, I have regained some certainty in my future plans. By seriously considering the education minor and deciding to stay my fourth year in college, I have regained a sense of purpose in my academics. By applying for various jobs and internships outside of school, I have regained confidence in my professional skill set. By beginning to volunteer to tutor English, I have reaffirmed my love for English as well as my interest for teaching (more on this below).
I believe I have finally reached the calm--and subsequent lighthearted happiness--that I had been seeking. It seems contradictory that by putting more on my (previously seemingly empty) plate, I feel more lighthearted and calm than before. I don't know how to quite explain it, other than reiterating the confidence and certainty that have reappeared in my life.
Recently, I began tutoring with Project W.I.L.D. at school. Every Saturday (though I've gone only twice out of four times so far), we go to an elementary school in Rosemead to tutor English grammar/ writing skills to immigrant/ ESL students. The first week, I tutored a student who I could barely hear and who could barely understand me. But when he finally understood the concepts of commas and plural/ singular nouns, I was delighted! It wasn't even that I was happy; my heart was happy. It was challenging, I admit, but that's what made the "Ah, I get it!" moment all the more rewarding. Similarly, last week, I tutored a student who immigrated to the U.S. from China only six months ago. He barely knew any English, but his earnest desire to simply learn English was so encouraging. I taught him in English and Chinese, and translated words and phrases to him as he wrote them down in Chinese. We communicated in Mandarin and Cantonese, and I learned a lot about him and his background. He learned singular/ plural verbs, past and present tense. At the same time, he taught me a few Chinese words and reminded me of how to write them. It was wonderful.
I shall write more next time, as I am now itching to watch another episode of "24"!
With this song I leave you:
Not until recently did I truly learn the significance of the following cliches:
The first step is the hardest step.The first step really is the hardest. There have been too many great opportunities I have passed up simply because I was too reluctant to fill out an extensive application, too lazy to write a cover letter, too comfortable to consider a change. But once I decided to get myself over the seemingly impossible hump, all the open doors became much clearer to see. It really isn't difficult to revise your resume, to email HR, or to do anything. The hardest thing is just to get yourself to do it. Surely, the comfort zone is great, but it isn't necessarily the only one, nor is it necessarily the most satisfying.
You never know until you try.
And on this note, you just never know until you try. We miss out on so many potentially wonderful things when we keep our eyes and minds closed and decide to stay "comfortable." Granted, there's always the chance of rejection when we do step out of our comfort zones, but at least we'll have tried and learned. I distinctly remember the following line from Disney's 1999 movie, "Smart House"--
You try and you fail. You try and you fail. The only true failure is when you stop trying.We have to let ourselves out every once in a while and allow failure in order to learn. Learning doesn't stop when you get your college diploma. It doesn't stop once you've established your career. It's perpetual, and every first step, every pursuit will result in some kind of lesson, and in that sense, a kind of success.
In any case, I find that I have been a lot happier lately because of the pursuits I have undertaken in various aspects of my life. Admittedly, many of them do not come into fruition, but that's okay, because I know that I have at least gone after what I think could be good for me. Previously, I blogged about "the chase" and how much I missed it. A short while after that post was when I decided to take initiative with my life. I began to chase after what (I thought) I wanted, and things have been looking up since then.
By deciding that I am going to teach English abroad for either a summer or a year after I graduate college, I have regained some certainty in my future plans. By seriously considering the education minor and deciding to stay my fourth year in college, I have regained a sense of purpose in my academics. By applying for various jobs and internships outside of school, I have regained confidence in my professional skill set. By beginning to volunteer to tutor English, I have reaffirmed my love for English as well as my interest for teaching (more on this below).
I believe I have finally reached the calm--and subsequent lighthearted happiness--that I had been seeking. It seems contradictory that by putting more on my (previously seemingly empty) plate, I feel more lighthearted and calm than before. I don't know how to quite explain it, other than reiterating the confidence and certainty that have reappeared in my life.
Recently, I began tutoring with Project W.I.L.D. at school. Every Saturday (though I've gone only twice out of four times so far), we go to an elementary school in Rosemead to tutor English grammar/ writing skills to immigrant/ ESL students. The first week, I tutored a student who I could barely hear and who could barely understand me. But when he finally understood the concepts of commas and plural/ singular nouns, I was delighted! It wasn't even that I was happy; my heart was happy. It was challenging, I admit, but that's what made the "Ah, I get it!" moment all the more rewarding. Similarly, last week, I tutored a student who immigrated to the U.S. from China only six months ago. He barely knew any English, but his earnest desire to simply learn English was so encouraging. I taught him in English and Chinese, and translated words and phrases to him as he wrote them down in Chinese. We communicated in Mandarin and Cantonese, and I learned a lot about him and his background. He learned singular/ plural verbs, past and present tense. At the same time, he taught me a few Chinese words and reminded me of how to write them. It was wonderful.
I shall write more next time, as I am now itching to watch another episode of "24"!
With this song I leave you:
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