Rare

That's how I like my meat. But that's now how I like my blog posts! I always have the intention to update my life in writing, but I rarely actually do it. However, here I am now, bearing both the intention and the will to write for you and for myself.

Today, I hung out with old people... My mother woke me up at an unpleasant 9 in the morning to go yum cha, and for once, I actually did get up and go with her and my dad!

Actually, I drove my dad and myself to Monterey Palace Restaurant on Garvey and waited for a table, only to have to wait another half hour or so for my mother to arrive with her San Francisco friends she picked up from Pasadena, where they are staying until tomorrow. The dining experience was terrible today! We gave the waiter the paper of our order, and a long while later, we asked about it. The manager came and gave us a blank order paper because they had lost our original one from a long, long time ago. So he signed a 10% discount for us, to which I retorted, "Only 10%?!" And of course, he said only what he could: "It's all I can do." So we ended up with 22 plates of dim sum coming one or two after another. Ultimately, at least a third of that food came home in take-out boxes.

During the several hours I was at home after lunch, I did just a few things: watch yesterday's episode of "Days of Our Lives" while repeatedly checking Facebook, Twitter, and Yahoo mail; walk up and down the stairs to get water from the kitchen; and organize my desk and the folders in my folder-holder-thing. Then I went to dinner with my mom, her parents, and her aforementioned friends. I thought it was going to be extremely boring, but it was actually quite the contrary. Not that it was exciting, of course... I mean, how fun could a dinner with four elderlies and two seemingly near-menopausal women be? In any case, sometimes I feel like my grandparents don't know me or something, because I have never

been close with them or talked with them or anything. Heck, often, I am convinced that they wouldn't recognize me if they passed by me in Chinatown or something! But tonight, they--or, my grandma, at least--proved me wrong. Not only did they say my name (kind of), but my grandma also gave me a red envelop for my birthday! Now, the importance here lies not in the money, but in the fact that she remembered! Hmm, actually, she said that she wanted to give it to me now so that she wouldn't forget later or just in case she won't see me later.

Something else I found very interesting tonight was the numerous times my grandparents referred to my mom as "my daughter"--their daughter. Obviously, she's their daughter, and obviously, I have always known that (you'd hope), but I had rarely ever heard them say that! So, it was pretty cool, in a weird way.

AND. My grandma said "thank you" in English! I was so surprised, but in a pleasant way.

AND. I learned that my grandpa is 76 years old. But now I'm not so sure, because it was only a few years ago that he turned 70... Then again, a few years these past few years have passed by like a Santa Ana wind, so I might have heard correctly. But then again, I also thought that I heard my grandma say she was born in '57, but then I thought, "Wait... mom was born in '61..."

Interesting, interesting.

Again, we came back with lots of leftovers.

This is a warning for all of you haters: I am about to rant about my favorite show EVER.

Truth be told, "Days" annoys me sometimes. First with the not even attempting to be subtle and clearly irrelevant and forced food promotion-advertisements DURING the show. Then with the terrible acting on Will's part, giving off the vibe that he thinks he's good-looking enough with those dirty-blonde hair and ocean-blue eyes to NOT have to know his lines well when 1) I've seen better-looking guys in Chinatown, and 2) actor = performer, not memorizer. And of course, as of late, the also not inconspicuous inserts of Catholicism whenever a conflict comes up, with all due respect to religion. All these things are just freaking ridiculous! Sometimes, I want to just close the window and go back on Facebook, but I hold down my anger and annoyance and

tolerate them, reminding myself how much I love the show anyway. Because I do, I really do! There's even loyalty involved... Recently, I decided to dedicate my soap-opera time to only "Days." It used to be shared with "General Hospital," but I just had a natural, undeniable affinity toward the former. Rumor (probably more like fact) has it that the show will go on for two more years. So I shall cherish it while it lasts and only hope that there will be another soap opera just as great! But I also hope that it will simply continue like soap operas are supposed to... Which I guess is why people tend to dislike soap operas... Man, such haters.

He's really not that good-looking. He's also a terrible fake-crier.

On to more important matters, I suppose.

My first quarter of college ended two days ago, and let me just start with this: never before have 10 weeks felt like an entire year! Now, I will admit that I did not put nearly as much effort into this quarter as I should have and as my friends seem to have. And that shows in my mediocre midterm and final grades in the two classes I did not bother to care about: oceanography and history. I can't say the same for English, though, because I spent the most effort on what I liked most. But at this point, I only look forward to an academically better next quarter. I have resolved to sleep earlier and actually study and try hard for every class, to spend more time reading textbooks than subtitles, to be a better student overall. Honestly, I have felt like such an underachieving loser these past few weeks because I was aware of how much and how hard my suitemates were studying for their finals and how nonchalant and indifferent I felt about mine. Although official final grades aren't out yet, I know that my lackadaisical attitude will only lead to my demise in the future, if it hasn't already. Hence, my new plans for next quarter.

Speaking of the future... I don't know what I want to do with it anymore. If I stick with English and add nothing to it, I might be able to finish in three years. However, lately I have been feeling that just English won't be sufficient. I thought I wanted to check out the medicinal side, until I discussed it with a few people and was repelled by the idea of all the time and hard work required for that life. I cannot say that laziness is not a problem, because I'm not so sure about that. But I've been asking myself, "Is that (whatever 'that' may be at the time of thought) what I REALLY want to do?" In addition to that is, "What CAN I do?" These seem like such self-doubting questions, which are so not me. Therefore, I usually just push them away and start thinking about something contrastingly irrelevant.

Despite these concerns--if you can call them that--I believe that I shouldn't worry, because aren't these questions supposed to be normal at this point in life? Heck, aren't they supposed to be normal at any point in life? Okay, maybe now it seems like I'm just trying to rationalize my thoughts and behavior, but I seriously think that I'm making sense here! In the end, though, I'm just going to push the negative thoughts and doubts away and just push forward with my soon-to-be newfound academic efforts and explore like a college student is supposed to.

On a different note... Something amazing happened this weekend! Not that the whole realization with my grandparents wasn't amazing, because it totally was. Anyway, on Friday, when my mother got home from work, I asked her to drive me to ROCK. I asked, "Mom, can you drive me soon? Or can I just drive myself?" I added the latter as a stupid question because she had always said no to it. BUT NOTICE. "Had always." That night, she matter of fact-ly replied, "Yeah, just take the key." My mind flipped in shock! But my voice calmly said, "Oh, where is it?" So, I drove the Corolla (gifted to us by one of my few generous cousins because it's an old car and he bought a new Highlander) to church by myself. I was nervous, alright, but I got there in a safe and timely manner. And today, I asked my mom if I could drive myself to my doctor's appointment at CHLA on Tuesday morning, and she said, "Only if you're sure you're okay with it," to which I replied, "Yeah, of course."

See, I think college has brought her trust in me to a whole new level, which is all the better, because, well, IT'S ABOUT TIME! She still got mad at me last night for staying out "late" (11 p.m.), but like it always is between her and me, forgive and forget after a night of sleep.

Additionally, I think I have become considerably more financially responsible for myself in the past few months. Not that I was never financially responsible. It's just that I had never had to order so many necessities online with my own money before! And I never had to balance my finances so carefully because, well, I had never exactly had what I could call finances before I worked this summer. I like not having to ask my parents for money, though. Granted, I don't have much, but at least I don't have to feel bad for asking them for money when I know that the twenty they give me will empty their wallets or something. Now, I'd rather just be careful and empty my own. I suppose that in this sense, I have grown exceptionally this year.

Gee, I didn't realize how much I missed writing and blogging until now. I have been writing papers, but it feels good to break out of the formal mode and just write what I feel without having to revise or worry that it's worth 30 percent of my grade.

Tomorrow starts the first real, homework- and stress-free winter break I experience. I have no idea what I am going to do with all my free time! Well, maybe I have a handful of ideas: watch "Days," play video games, watch romantic comedies and "The Big Bang Theory" on DVD, hang out with friends, go on dates... Oh, well, I guess that's my winter break! That wasn't too difficult.

My rant-thoughts are winding down to... nothing important anymore. So,

Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe