Days of My Life

I was having a pretty horrible few hours prior to dinner--and even during dinner--because I was so frustrated with and tired of studying. But then I came back to the room to put my newly acquired tea bags into my drawer... And upon realizing what an abundant varieTEA I have in my tea drawer, I became giddy, as I always do when I open that drawer that is my object of pride. Yay! Now back to the demise that is studying.

Often, I like to give people and matters the benefit of the doubt because I like to have faith in them. I like to believe that the general public is less evil, less conniving, more innocent, more considerate than they seem and that their actions will turn out for the better despite previous experiences proving otherwise. But lately, I have started to wonder whether I should be doing that so much. Do people deserve the benefit of the doubt? My benefit of the doubt? I used to be very cynical, but then people started proving me wrong for not giving them the benefit of the doubt. But now that I have been doing so for so long, I recently noticed that I only end up disappointed and fooled. Have my expectations for those around me risen so much that my satisfaction is nearly impossible to reach? Should my expectations for everybody and everything be lower so that my satisfaction can be more easily achieved? But if I lower my expectations, I can't help but feel that everyone really can ...

I recently began to use Pandora Radio (mostly at work), and I find it curiously funny--and probably meaningful--that of all the stations I have created and the songs I have liked, Pandora has been feeding to me worship songs by Chris Tomlin, Tenth Avenue North, and the like. The following is the last one that it played for me, and I really like it. Today, I was quite stressed out. Although I had turned in my paper yesterday and had already begun my next paper (due Friday) at work in the morning, I kept thinking of all the small things I had to remember to do: pick up lunch, go to pay for next quarter's parking permit, go to the bank to deposit a check, and finally get to work by 2:30. Well, I picked up a shrimp caesar salad (which was pretty good!) at Cafe 1919, and then even got a vanilla ice-blended (ice-blended vanilla?) because getting the former didn't take as long as I had anticipated. I proceeded to the parking and transportation office: I parked my car in lot 8 like I a...

Got jokes? I do! Recently, one of my friends said that he has come to terms with the fact that I am just a jokester. Initially, I didn't know whether to be offended or flattered. After a few moments, I--being my usual self--went with the latter, obviously. If you, said friend, are reading this, it's okay! I didn't take offense to it. That being said, last night, the following song was stuck in my head, and I played it over and over, singing along and totally distracting myself from the paper which I have yet to begin but is due tomorrow. I'm going to play this song for my children so that they know they got it from their mama, too! :) A few minutes ago, I was about to throw away our food trash... me: Do you have any trash (that you want me to throw away)? J: No, thanks, though. me: Are you sure? Don't let this opportunity go to waste! heh :) As you probably can tell from this post, I gladly embrace my jokester-ness, yay!

Even though I told myself yesterday--after waking up at 1:24 p.m., watching three episodes of "One Tree Hill," going to Annex, and watching three more episodes of "OTH"--that I would wake up in the a.m. and start my due-on-Tuesday English paper, I have yet to even open a blank word document. I did, however, take out my notebook and paper prompt, neither of which contains any of what I'm going to write. In a few minutes, my mom, sister and I are going to go shopping for "professional clothing" for S. A few minutes ago: Mom: Are you coming along? me: Buying clothes and you're paying?! Of course! I haven't taken up that opportunity in a long time! Mom: Haha! Why should I be the one paying? me: Because you have all my money, Mom! She doesn't really have all my money, but you know... I really like my new blog design. I didn't like the previous striped pink one--it was just too girly! And yes, I spent twenty minutes changing the design/ templ...

I may be young, A song unsung But let me be heard And I'll give my word I can make a difference With my aspiration and intelligence I've got big hopes for the world And all the promise that it holds I can make sad people smile And coldhearted people cry I can solve the petty problems And whatever else that comes I have a strong stance Just give me a chance. July 22, 2007 I think I wrote that back when I thought quite highly of myself and truly believed that I was meant to and could make a difference in the world. Despite my age, I could have done things to make the world better--if only somebody would take me seriously at that age. Now, I no longer feel this confidence. I know I still have the same intelligence, but I just am no longer sure about the aspiration. Certainly, my aspirations have changed, and as that progressed, my certainty and confidence have only dwindled. Now, at 20 years old (as opposed to 15), I have no idea what I want to do or what I want to be. I have no i...