Everything's funnier in person.
I have three pieces of good news and one piece of bad news, but I shall try to refrain from divulging absolutely everything. Good news #1: I fixed my printer! I had deemed it "literally broken" for about a week. After having given up on it, I kindly decided to give it another try earlier. So I put two sheets of paper in the tray and attempted to print one page. Usually, the single sheet of paper I would have put in would have gone into the printer for two seconds, begun making some extremely strange noises, and then stayed at that position, crumpled where it actually went in. Today, one page went in, followed by the next, and I boldly continued to press the "resume" button despite the error flash on the printer... And before I knew it, the second sheet of paper had gotten stuck; so I pulled that out and found no trace of its predecessor. Curiously, I looked behind the printer because I knew that no matter how evil it may be, the printer simply could not literally ea...