Days of My Life

Today was another one of those days I stupidly stayed home and waited while doing nothing because I expected. I should just eliminate all expectations from now on to prevent the uncomfortable feeling of my throat choking up, my eyes watering and my heart beating of anger and disappointment. But for some reason, I am never able to stop expecting. I wish I could reciprocate the disappointment, but I hate so much to disappoint others and myself, although I seem to make the latter happen all the time. Oh, well. Because that's what it is to the disappoint-er when I am the disappoint-ee.

Years ago, we thought about even more years ago as he sat down next to me on one of those dusty whitish benches beside the miniature basketball courts. He said to me, "You were allergic to eggs... or something, right?" Wrong. But yes, something. It is currently 2:34 a.m. and I am in post-"P.S. I Love You" mode. In other words, I felt that it might take me a while to fall asleep tonight--yet again--so I finally decided to get up and blog instead of toss and turn in my bed. Well, truth be told, I'm still in bed, but not tossing and turning, or else my laptop would be demolished by my 100+ pounds, and that would be one of the most terrible occurrences ever! I care for my technology like I would care for my blanket. I am quite ashamed that my blog posts are so utterly rare nowadays. And like I have said many times before, it isn't like I truly have that many things to do. Often, I just sit at my desk, stalking people on Facebook or... yeah, just that. Or I watch

I decided to transfer to UCSD after having completed one and a half years at UCLA. It was more for the sake of spontaneity and change than anything else. It was a while past dusk, and I was carrying with me my black Adidas duffel bag three-quarters full of clothes and toiletries and nothing else. My mom was walking through the woods with me, toward my new dorm room. Upon arrival at my dorm building, I had trouble finding room 221 because the room numbers were in disarray. Finally, I settled in by putting my bag down on the floor and sitting on my lofted bed. The room was unbelievably spacious and empty, even with my already settled in roommate in there, as well. Then I walked outside, and my mom told me to walk with her to the car, and once we got there, she said she needed to walk me back to my dorm so I don't walk through the woods alone. She held on to my wrist with her left hand and to an umbrella--shading from what, I don't know--with her right. Then, I went to a small con